At some point, Christians might have to switch churches.
It happens! Happened to me more than once. I move to new cities from time to time, for work or school; that’s an obvious reason right there. Said goodbye to the folks of my previous church; it was sad. Then off I went to the new city, to find a new one.
Happened to me again recently: The church building was ruined, so the entire church—pastor, board members, everybody—started going to one of our sister churches in town. And that’s where I am now.
Christians switch churches for all sorts of reasons. Some good, some bad. Some valid, some not. I’ll give you some examples.
| GOOD REASONS | BAD REASONS | IFFY REASONS |
|---|---|---|
| • God personally tells you to go elsewhere. | • You don’t get along with somebody there. | • You don’t like their liturgical style, preaching style, or music. |
| • They kicked you out. | • They’re not cool anymore. Or cool enough. | • You want a bigger/smaller church. |
| • Church leaders aren’t trustworthy. Sinning, abusive, fruitless, jerklike, and unrepentant. Or they’re just not doing their jobs, and won’t let anyone help. | • They won’t let you lead, or otherwise get your way. | • Your kids don’t like it there, and don’t wanna go. |
| • Church members aren’t trustworthy either, and the leadership does nothing about it. | • Meh; church is optional. Sleep, sports, recreation—even doing nothing at all—feel like better options than going anymore. | • You’re “not getting fed.” Or “not feeling the Spirit.” Or are otherwise bored. |
| • They’re |
• They’re not political enough. | • You visited another church, and they felt far more right for you. |
| • They’re too legalistic, demanding, judgmental… and if you don’t obey or conform, they have penalties. (Yep, |
• You’ve burned way too many bridges there. Time for a fresh start! | • You want a bigger church, with more programs and resources. |
| • Your spouse has had enough of that church, now goes elsewhere, and isn’t coming back. Period. | • They denounce sin—particularly the sins you commit. |
• You want a smaller church, ’cause you feel lost in the big crowd. |
| • You’re getting a job at another church. | • They want you to give ’em money all the time. Shouldn’t church be free? | • There’s a radical change in mission, emphasis, focus, or denomination—and you can’t get behind it. |
| • You’re moving to another city. Or the church moves to another city. | • They won’t let you lead, won’t put you in charge of stuff, won’t otherwise let you get your way. | |
| • Some disaster destroys the church. |
You can probably think of more reasons than these.
You might take issue with some of the things I listed. I’ve known more than one
Likewise I’ve known Christians who insist stylistic choices don’t matter at all. Doesn’t matter if you hate the music, or can’t stand the preaching, or the kids absolutely hate the youth group kids and youth pastor and would rather be anywhere else: That’s your church, and you stay there, no matter what. Even if you’re completely miserable there: It’s where God put you, and apparently God’s a giant sadist… except he’s not. At all. What’re you doing in a church which makes you miserable? Earning
And likewise I’ve known Christians who don’t want people to make lists like this. How dare we judge and critique churches? They’re meant to judge us, not the other way round. Which is an attitude I obviously don’t share whatsoever.
Parish churches.
Those who object to
…the search for a “suitable” church makes the man a critic where the Enemy [meaning Jesus] wants him to be a pupil. What he wants of the layman in church is an attitude which may, indeed, be critical in the sense of rejecting what is false or unhelpful, but which is wholly uncritical in the sense that it does not appraise—does not waste time in thinking about what it rejects, but lays itself open in uncommenting, humble receptivity to any nourishment that is going. (You see how groveling, how unspiritual, how irredeemably vulgar he is!) This attitude, especially during sermons, creates the condition (most hostile to our whole policy) in which platitudes can become really audible to a human soul. There is hardly any sermon, or any book, which may not be dangerous to us if it is received in this temper. So pray to bestir yourself and send this fool the round of the neighboring churches as soon as possible. Your record up to date has not given us much satisfaction.
—
The Screwtape Letters, #16
Okay, a little historical context for Lewis. The United Kingdom has a state church. If you live in England, that’d be the Church of England, paid for by your taxes; and if you live in a certain district, or parish, you go to that parish’s church. You weren’t meant to go to other churches; you don’t have a choice. I mean, you do; you can choose to go to the Catholic, Presbyterian, Lutheran, Quaker, Methodist, Baptist, nondenominational, or any of the other churches in your parish; other denominations aren’t illegal anymore! But if you considered yourself a member of the Church of England, your parish church was your sole option.
The parish church is like your post office, your polling place, your high school: It’s just where you go. And as a state church, it helps the English government keep tabs on baptisms, weddings, and the needs of the community. It has a number of civic uses.
Now, I kinda get Lewis’s thinking about why you shouldn’t dodge your parish church: Those are your neighbors. Your literal neighbors. Not your hypothetical neighbors; not strangers we “love” by not prejudging them and thinking pleasant thoughts about them. These are the people who live in our neighborhood. Whom we oughta get along with, for the sake of our common Lord. Loving the people we’re stuck with is much harder than loving the people we choose to be with. (Makes it all the easier for kids to leave their parents and bond with their spouses.) Dodging the parish church means we’re kinda dodging our duties to our local sisters and brothers in Christ.
But here’s the reality: Parishes don’t enforce this practice whatsoever. If people really wanna go to the parish church in the next town, church leaders won’t stop ’em. Because the alternative is these people quit the Church of England—or don’t go to church at all.
And frankly, some churches—even in your own denomination!—are unhealthy. Forcing them to stay where they are, despite real problems and godless behavior, is just plain wrong. As devilish as anything Screwtape might come up with.
Debatable reasons.
Back to my list. I sorted the reasons people switch churches into “good,” “bad,” and “iffy” based on a pretty predictable metric.
- GOOD: Logistics (it’s difficult to get to your church), or they’re sinning.
- BAD: You’re sinning.
- IFFY: Your current church is a bad fit. Not because you or they are doing anything wrong! I mean, they might be; figure it out, and repent where necessary. But sometimes we just don’t fit in a certain church. And rather than fight to conform, we really oughta go somewhere that’s a better fit.
I find most people switch churches over those “iffy” reasons. The debatable reasons.
And because we’re too often wrongly taught we should only switch churches for good reasons, far too often people try to defend their church switches with ridiculous
“Oh we had to leave Ninth Presbyterian; they teach
But y’know, sometimes leaving a church over its music is a valid reason. Because worship music is meant to do the following:
- Praise God.
- Get people in a joyful mood about God.
- Declare (and in so doing, teach) truths about God.
If I hate the music, it’s a struggle to praise God with it! Or get in any sort of good mood.
And speaking for myself, a lot of the reason I dislike certain worship songs is because they’re so much fluff. They declare very little about God. Inflict silly music on me for a month, and I’ll start church-shopping. (Throw in a nagging music pastor who regularly shouts at us, “I can’t hear you! Sing louder!” and it won’t even take a month.)
Debatable reasons might be the product of sin: Mine, or the church’s. I might be one of those control freaks who demand more hymns. Or the leaders might be those control freaks who won’t play anything but hymns. But when nobody’s sinning—when it’s just a really bad fit—I still see no reason why people should be forced to put up with a church which irritates them, and distracts them away from loving God.
Yes, God might order such people to stay there and get over themselves. He’s done that with me. Sometimes he uses those little irritants to get our attention.
But sometimes, there are profound reasons to leave the church—reasons we aren’t aware of, like corruption and secret sinful activity—and God uses these little irritants to get us out of the building. Y’might flee a church because you hate the music, and find out years later there was a full-on sex scandal happening behind the scenes. Yikes! But like I said, God used your peeves to make you move.
I know plenty of pastors object to the idea of leaving a church for any reasons but good ones. And I understand why: They, more than most of the people in a church, are trying to establish a relationship with the people in their churches. It hurts when they put a bunch of time and effort into getting to know people… only to see them quit because their kids’ friends get candy in their Sunday school, so the kids wanted to go there instead. Or because their music pastor plays all
Largely these pastors aren’t wrong. We should build relationships with the people in our churches. These relationships should trump all the minor irritations which make us think about bouncing to a different church. It’s just sometimes they don’t. Immature Christians switch churches for any and every reason.
Sometimes it sucks… and sometimes it’s a reason to rejoice, ’cause those people were such a pain. God help their next church.
