Jesus’s mom asks his help.

John 2.1-5.

The next town over from Jesus’s hometown of Nazareth, about 4 kilometers away, was Cana. (Today Kfar Kanna is a suburb of Nazareth.) It’s not close enough for the two towns to share a synagogue, ’cause the rabbis declared you could only travel 2,000 cubits (i.e. 1km) from and to your home on Sabbath. But it’s still walking distance; it’s still close enough for the towns to share resources, get to know one another, and even intermarry.

Intermarriage is probably why Jesus and his mom were invited to the wedding in this story: I suspect they were related to the bride. It’s the only way Mary’s take-charge behavior in this story really makes sense; she’d have to be family.

I don’t know how they were related to the bride. She could be Jesus’s sister or aunt or cousin or even grandmother. Some folks even think Mary herself was getting remarried… but then it’d make no sense for Jesus to later put her in the care of one of his students. Jn 19.26-27 Jesus was in his 30s, Lk 3.23 which means it’s entirely possible for him to have a sibling with a 13-year-old daughter, and you might actually get married at that age back then, so the bride could even have been Jesus’s niece.

If it weirds you out to think of Jesus having such family members—as if he only ever had a mom and dad and that’s all, ’cause of the nativity crêches—the bible mentions his family multiple times. They were good people. His brothers James and Jude even wrote books of the New Testament.

Conspiracy theorists (and some Latter-day Saints) even speculate this was Jesus’s wedding; that he was the groom, and all the bridegroom metaphors throughout the New Testament are kinda pointing back to Jesus’s literal wedding to some Galilean girl. Thing is, the text clearly says Jesus ἐκλήθη/eklíthi, “is called,” to the wedding—and the groom back then wasn’t summoned to the wedding; he hosted the wedding. The groom’s not a passive participant, like western weddings nowadays.

Plus the groom obviously lived in Cana. First-century Israeli wedding celebrations took place at the groom’s house. The families would agree long in advance for their kids to get hitched. (Some Christians claim they’d sign a marriage contract, but that’s a medieval tradition, not a first-century one.) The groom would either own, buy, or build a house, and prepare it for his bride to live there; then he’d gather his friends and family, and they’d march to the bride’s house to get her. The bride’s family and friends would then go with her to the groom’s house, and they’d party.

No, not have a wedding ceremony. The Jews didn’t do ’em till the 19th century—and at the time it was wealthy Jews who wanted to have a ceremony like Christians did, so they swiped our tradition and added Jewish elements. Good, meaningful elements; but they’re 19th-century traditions, not first-century. But various naïve Christians and Messianic Jews don’t know this, and try to claim, “Wow, look how much Jewish wedding customs parallel the marriage supper of the Lamb!” Rv 21 Well of course they do; they got ’em from us! We Christians borrowed heavily from the marriage supper of the Lamb idea to create our traditions. But the Christian traditions come first, not the Jewish ones.

The wine shortage.

Custom was for the wedding party to last days. They’d party for as long as the groom could afford to party—or, if you were devout, until Friday. Then you kinda had to stop, get baptized, and get ready for Sabbath services at synagogue.

Anyway in this story, it looks like this groom couldn’t afford to party. Because you had to have wine for your guests, and this guy didn’t have enough.

John 2.1-5 KWL

1 The third day after the students began following Jesus,

a wedding happens in Cana, Galilee,

Jesus’s mother is there,

2 and Jesus and his students are also summoned to the wedding.

3 Being short of wine,

Jesus’s mother tells him, “They don’t have wine.”

4 Jesus tells her, “Ma’am, how is that my and your business?

My hour hasn’t yet come!

5 Jesus’s mother tells the servers,

“Whatever he might tell you, do it.”

A lot of translations heavily suggest the groom was clean out of wine; the NIV straight-up says, “When the wine was gone,” and the ESV puts it, “When the wine ran out.”

The participle ὑστερήσαντος/ysterísantos means either “fell short” or “came late.” So either the groom and his servers realized they didn’t have enough to go around… or there was wine, but it wasn’t there yet, and the guests were getting antsy. Then, same as now, people go to weddings expecting to get sloppy drunk, and if there’s nothing to drink they’ll get angry. Sometimes leave.

So that’s a legitimate problem. Embarrassing for the groom, even if it’s not his fault. Wedding’s ruined.

But before the guests started leaving, somehow Mary found out about it, and decided, “Hey, I’ve got a son who specializes in impossible things,” and went right to him.

Jesus’s response strikes a lot of people as weird, if not even annoyed. The KJV has it, “Woman, what have I to do with thee? mine hour is not yet come.” It even strikes people as a little rude… although that’s mostly because they don’t realize when Jesus addressed women as γύναι/gýne, “Woman,” it’s not a dismissive term, like “Man” or “Woman” is in English. It’s respectful, same as “Ma’am” or “Sir.”

I translated Jesus’s statement as “How is that my and your business?” Literally he said τί ἐμοὶ καὶ σοί/ti emí ke si, “What [is that] to me and to you?” Means the same thing. Some translations imply he takes issue with her, like the KJV’s “What have I to do with thee?” or the NASB’s “What business do you have with me?” But it’s wrong to say he objected to her; she’s his mother after all.

And from time to time, you get sexists who claim Jesus is objecting to her. As if to say, “Mother, how dare you passive-aggressively boss me around; I’m a grown man. Know your place. I’m the friggin’ Messiah.” An attitude entirely inconsistent with Jesus’s character; antithetical to his kindness and compassion and love. An attitude which far more reflects their unbiblical views about men and women’s places in society.

The most common interpretation is that Jesus didn’t wanna help. Which, let’s be blunt, is also inconsistent with Jesus’s character. Since when does Jesus not wanna help? When the groom is a giant sinner and misfortune is simply him receiving his karmic comeuppance?—well, karmic revenge is how we think, but Jesus does grace, and even if he’s not gonna help in exactly the way sinners request, he is willing to help.

If Jesus didn’t wanna help, why did he immediately follow up this statement with a miracle? Why is Jesus a reluctant giver when he doesn’t at all describe his Father that way; Lk 12.32 when his apostles even instruct us to be cheerful givers? 2Co 9.7

My interpretation of this passage? Jesus was joking with his mom. He was kidding.

Yes, kidding. He’s got a sense of humor, y’know. Have you ever actually talked with him?

“Mine hour is not yet come.”

Jesus’s statement, οὔπω ἥκει ἡ ὥρα μου/úpo íkei i óra, “My hour hasn’t yet come,” comes up in two other places in John’s gospel. And in both those cases, you’ll notice Jesus was in danger of getting arrested.

John 7.30 KJV

Then they sought to take him: but no man laid hands on him, because his hour was not yet come.

 

John 8.20 KJV

These words spake Jesus in the treasury, as he taught in the temple: and no man laid hands on him; for his hour was not yet come.

Both times he wasn’t arrested, wasn’t smacked around by guards, wasn’t dragged before judges, wasn’t in danger of summary execution. Because it wasn’t yet his time.

And that’s what Jesus is alluding to here. “You want me to tell the guests there’s no wine? You realize what they’ll do to me? My hour hasn’t yet come!”

Now your average preacher isn’t used to the idea of our Lord having a sense of humor. Often, to be honest, because their own senses of humor are kinda defective. No I’m not just talking about their tendency to tell corny “dad jokes”; those are fine. But when you get far too many of ’em in private, and listen to them talk about the sort of things which make them laugh, some of these things are just… well, wrong. They mock political opponents. They laugh at other people’s misfortunes. They make fun of people for being different, for not meeting the ridiculous standards they set for everyone else as they make exceptions for themselves. They punch down. They bully. The things they consider funny, betray a carnal lack of compassion which they really need to work on.

Here, Jesus is just joking about his situation. His hour will come, eventually. In the meanwhile he’s gotta handle this wine business, which is nothing compared to conquering sin and death. And he’s fine with doing it. And his mom knows he’s fine with doing it—which is why she tells the servers to do whatever he says. No matter how weird it’s gonna look at first, ’cause she knows her son.

It’s a good pattern to follow whenever we request his help. Get ready to do as he says, no matter how weird it’s gonna look at first.