Don’t let God’s foreknowledge weird you out about prayer!

Matthew 6.8.

Jesus instructs his followers to not pad our prayers, to not stretch ’em out like pagans who think God won’t take ’em seriously unless they pray for a really long time. And then, in his Sermon on the Mount, he drops this comment about why it’s unnecessary: God’s foreknowledge.

Matthew 6.8 KWL

“So you ought not be like them!

For your Father knew what need you have

before your asking of him.”

In the New Testament, foreknow is our usual translation of the verb προγινώσκω/pro-yinósko, “pre-know.” Ro 8.29, 11.2 Paul used it to describe how God knows something before it happens. It doesn’t say how he knows it’ll happen, which is why Christians have largely come up with two theories about it:

• Determinists claim it’s because God decreed this stuff will happen. The universe is all irresistibly going according to his plan, and that’s the future he planned.
• The rest of us figure God is omnipresent—he exists at every point in space and time; there’s no place nor time where he’s not—so he knows the future because he’s at the future, observing it right now.

I figure the scriptures are the most consistent with omnipresence, so that’s how I describe God.

Various Christians incorrectly describe God as outside time, looking down upon it all at once. They got the idea from St. Augustine of Hippo, who most likely borrowed it from how Plato of Athens described his pagan gods. But that’d make God not omnipresent: He wouldn’t be everywhere within space and time, but somewhere else. So that’d be wrong. Space and time are the same thing anyway: God’s inside time and fills time, same as he does space. He’s here, aware of what’s going on. And 20 years ago, still here, still aware. And 20 years from now, still here, still aware. Simultaneously.

That’s a mind-bending idea to us Christians. Even us Christians who love to watch science fiction TV and movies where they monkey with time travel for fun and adventure. We’re time-based creatures, so we only experience now, the moving present instant. And even when we’re consciously aware, paying attention to now… we actually aren’t. ’Cause in the split second of time our senses require to take in the world around us, and our brains require to process it, and attach emotions and ideas and values to it… that instant is over. It’s past. We’re reacting to a memory. We move through time just that quick.

Whereas God doesn’t move. He’s still in that moment. And in every moment we also consider “now,” whenever we perceive it: The moment I write this, or the moment you read it. And all the moments before, and all the moments to come. Forever, in both directions.

That’s how God foreknows the future. From our human viewpoint the future doesn’t yet exist; from God’s, he’s looking right at it, and it’s a certainty to him. Because of this, we Christians can be confident everything God says about the future is guaranteed. He’s not making the universe’s greatest-educated guess; he’s not describing stuff that doesn’t exist to him either, but he has the almighty power to unstoppably make it happen, like the determinists and Open Theists insist. God’s speaking from experience—or to coin a word, foresperience. He foresees it, so he foreknows it. It’s real. Well, fore-real.

So we can confidently put our hope in God. Jesus is returning. We are getting raised from the dead. All things are gonna be made new. We are gonna inherit his kingdom. None of this is hypothetical. God’s already there.

And this is why Jesus can say his Father knows our needs before we ask. It’s not just because he’s always been able to read our hearts, so he knows our needs and desires before we request ’em. It’s also because he foresaw us praying for them. And in many cases, he’s answered them before we requested ’em.

The meaningless lifestyle of heritage.

1 Peter 1.17-21.

One of the odd things about Christianity is we’re meant to follow Jesus… but nearly every Christian, and nearly all our churches, act like we’re meant to follow Christian tradition.

I’m not knocking Christian tradition… well okay, I’m not knocking certain Christian traditions. There’s a whole lot of good stuff we’ve been given by previous generations of devout followers of Jesus. They made an effort to get to know our Lord, taught a lot of useful lessons, and gave us a lot of practical stuff we can use so we can get to know our Lord. Why reinvent the wheel when we pretty much have a forest of wheels available?

But of course too many Christians would have us fixate on the stuff instead of Jesus himself. Because we can manipulate the stuff. But Jesus doesn’t bend.

The ancients had a similar problem: Lots of traditions they inherited from their forebears. You had Pharisees, the devout Jews who established synagogues wherever they could throughout the Roman Empire—which the apostles regularly visited so they could tell the Jews about their Messiah, Jesus, and how his kingdom has come near. You also had Greco-Roman pagans (or in Africa, Greco-Egyptian pagans) who had their own national myths, which claimed they were a great people with great gods, and you’d better follow those gods lest they be displeased.

You have all these people-groups with all these great heritages. And Jesus disrupts all of that, and tells us nope; now we’re his people. Ditch that ethnic pride; his kingdom is multiethnic and excludes no one. Ditch that “noble history” …which, let’s be honest, consists of a lot of fabrications, mythology, and whitewashing. (True, the Old Testament tells ancient Israel’s story, warts ’n all, but if you ever read Flavius Josephus’s Antiquities, you can see a bunch of that whitewashing right there. Every ancient culture did that. And if you read any grade-school American history textbook, you’ll see we totally do it too.)

Simon Peter calls all that stuff ματαίας/mataías, “empty, profitless, meaningless.” That’s what the ancient Christians left behind. Rightly so! We’re not trying to establish a new great people, a mighty Christian nation, which needs its own traditions and myths and heritage. We point to Jesus. We just live out our lives as best we can, scattered throughout the kingdoms of this world like Diaspora Jews, and let him worry about empire-building. We just follow him.

And we beware anyone who tries to establish any “Christian kingdom” in which Jesus is not physically standing upon the earth to rule it himself.

1 Peter 1.17-21 KWL

17And if you call upon the Father,

who impartially judges each person by their work,

behave yourselves with reverent fear

during the time of your sojourn—

18knowing it’s not the perishable,

not silver nor gold,

by which you were ransomed

from your meaningless lifestyle of “heritage,”

19but precious blood,

like an unblemished lamb;

and spotless Christ.

20Foreknown even before the world’s founding,

and made known in the last times

because of you—

21because of believers in God,

who raised Jesus from the dead

and gives him glory

so your belief and hope are to be in God.

Pan-millennialists: “It’ll all pan out in the End.”

Back in seminary, the school catalog listed an End Times class. I was really interested in taking it—for the obvious reason that I wanted to understand the End Times apocalypses better.

But in the three years I spent there, none of the professors ever bothered to teach it. So I had to research it myself. Borrowed a big pile of books from a guy in my church who’d gone to a different seminary—books which, thankfully, didn’t only come from one End Times worldview. Too many people who “study” the End Times are happy to buy every Hal Lindsey book, read nothing else (including the book of Revelation!), and consider themselves an expert.

Years later I discovered why the professors avoided that End Times class: I taught a Sunday school class at my church on the book of Revelation. Good Lord. It was like herding cats. Nobody wanted to study the text! They just wanted to talk about what they were “discerning” in the present-day news: This or that was happening in global politics, and it’s a sign of the times! Most had grown up reading the Hal Lindsey stuff, and simply could not bring themselves to stop quoting his theories about how the End Times timeline would unfold. I ended the class after we finally got through Jesus’s letters to the seven churches; Rv 2-3 I was so tired of listening to the small group’s members interrupting to talk about crackpottery.

Hey, End Times stuff provokes people! Especially fearful people, who are terrified the great tribulation is gonna get activated by their political opponents, and force ’em into building an End Times bunker and hiding. Not all of ’em fully trust that Jesus will rapture them before tribulation starts. (Nor should they.) So they listen to the most worried prognostications of popular End Times “prophecy scholars” so they can be prepared for every eventuality. Knowledge is power, right?

But then there are the people who don’t wanna study this stuff.

Who roll their eyes every time End Times passages get quoted or referenced or alluded to. Who intentionally skip church services when they find out the preacher’s gonna talk about Revelation or the back half of Daniel. Who think Hal Lindsey’s a fearmongering charlatan. (And not just because Hal Lindsey was very much a fearmongering charlatan.)

Ask these people whether the Christian Era is gonna end and Jesus is gonna return, and for the most part they’re gonna say yes. Because he is; it’s orthodox, credal Christianity to believe so, and they’re not heretics. They do believe Jesus is returning for the living and the dead. It’s just… whenever Christians discuss the End Times, fearful Christians take over the discussion, exactly like they took over my Revelation class, and suck all the joy and hope and grace out of it with their paranoia and revenge fantasies. They make it suck.

So what do these people believe about the End? Well they accept God’s in control… so it’ll all pan out.

More than one of them have jokingly told me they’re “pan-millennialists” for this reason. The End will happen when it happens, however it happens. Till it does, they’re not gonna fret about it. Some of ’em like to quote Jesus on the subject:

Acts 1.6-7 CSB

6So when they had come together, they asked him, “Lord, are you restoring the kingdom to Israel at this time?”

7He said to them, “It is not for you to know times or periods that the Father has set by his own authority.”

Jesus’s apostles figured now that Jesus had returned from the dead, it’s time for the End, right? Everybody gets resurrected at the End, and Jesus is the first person to get resurrected, so it’s the End, isn’t it? Messiah would free Israel from the Romans and take over the world, so it’s the millennium, right?

And Jesus’s response was, “You don’t need to know when that’ll happen,” then get raptured. Ac 1.9 He’s coming back, Ac 1.11 but still: You don’t need to know when that’ll happen.

So these folks don’t worry about it. The End will come when God decides it’s time. The End will unfold however God unfolds it. We needn’t panic, worry, agitate, or flinch at “signs of the times.” We just need to keep following Jesus.

Do not pad your prayers.

Matthew 6.7-8.

Right after Jesus taught his followers, in his Sermon on the Mount, to keep our prayers private, he added,

Matthew 6.7-8 KWL

7“You who pray, ought not babble like the pagans,

for they think they will be listened to

because of their many words.

8So you ought not be like them!

For your Father knew what need you have

before your asking of him.”

“Babble” comes from the verb βαττολογέω/vattoloyéo, “to stammer [one’s] words.” It’s about padding one’s prayers by repeating ourselves too much.

I didn’t grow up Pentecostal; I became one as an adult. The first time I ever heard a Pentecostal pray, I was a teenager, and was not at all used to the way most of us pray. I thought, “You’ve got to be kidding me.” ’Cause a whole lot of us have the embarrassingly bad habit of babbling.

Father God, LORD God, we thank you Lord Jesus, we thank you. Oh Abba Father, we just wanna thank you LORD God, and praise your name LORD God, because LORD God, Lord Jesus, your name is great LORD God Abba Father praise Jesus. Oh Lord God…

And so on. Most people when they’re at a loss for words, stammer a filler word like “uh” or “um.” We Pentecostals swapped that out for a “LORD God” or three. So let’s see… that’s eight LORD/Lords, seven Gods, three Fathers, three Jesuses, and two Abbas; and we haven’t even got to the request yet.

Yes this is what Jesus is talking about. I’ve heard plenty of Pentecostals try to claim it really isn’t; that Jesus is actually talking about hypocrisy. There’s a myth Ovid recorded in his Metamorphoses about the god Hermes and an old man named Váttos; Hermes swore him to secrecy, then approached him later in disguise and offered him a bribe to spill the secret. When Váttos ratted Hermes out, Hermes turned him into a rock. That’s a clear example of hypocrisy, isn’t it?

But we don’t derive the meaning of the Greek word βάττος/váttos from this myth; we get it from Hesychius of Alexandria and others, who say it means stammerer. Jesus is talking about stammering. If he meant hypocrisy he’d have said hypocrisy; Jesus is never shy about condemning hypocrisy!

The lesson therefore is do not pad your prayers. Get to the point. Jesus demonstrates in the very next passage with the Lord’s Prayer, which is not a long prayer, not a padded prayer, and gets to the point! Whereas we think, like the ancient pagans mistakenly did, that short prayers are not serious prayers; we gotta make ’em longer. And we do not. Jesus showed us we do not. Follow Jesus.

Study the prophets and be holy.

1 Peter 1.10-16.

There are a few popular, but greatly mistaken, Christian beliefs which Simon Peter debunks in today’s portion of his first letter. The first is obviously that we don’t need the Old Testament ’cause we have the New; that the only things we need to study are in the New Testament, and the Old is out of date, or even nullified.

The second is that the Old Testament prophets only prophesied about the events of their day. That whenever we say, “This Old Testament passage is clearly a Messianic prophecy,” we’re taking the passage out of context, because the OT prophet was only speaking of the king of Jerusalem in his day; he wasn’t at all thinking of the Messiah to come, the King of Kings, our Lord Jesus. We’re just reading Christian beliefs and wishes into his statements, instead of looking at the author’s actual intent.

Peter reveals nope, the Old Testament prophets were speaking of Jesus… because the Holy Spirit who inspired the prophets, is the very same Spirit of Christ who empowers us. These prophets foresaw, to varying degrees, a coming Messiah whose rule would never end. They wanted to know about him; they asked the Spirit about him; they foretold him because the Spirit answered some of their questions. Yes, they were totally talking about the events of their day, and totally speaking to the people of their day, but they still foretold of Christ Jesus, and the salvation he’d bring the world.

And this, among other things, is why we need to study the Old Testament—or “the Prophets,” as Jesus and the people of his day called the portions of the bible written after the Law of Moses. You want a greater picture of who Jesus is, and what he came to earth to do? Yeah, you read the New Testament; of course. But you also look at what the Spirit said through the Old Testament prophets.

1 Peter 1.10-16 KWL

10The Prophets search for and study this salvation—

those who prophesy of the grace God grants you,

11these investigators making clear what or when

the Spirit of Christ within them foretells

of Christ’s sufferings

and the glories after that.

12This is revealed to the prophets—

not just to themselves;

they minister these things to you.

They’re proclaimed to you

by those who share the gospel with you

empowered by the heaven-sent Holy Spirit.

God’s messengers set their hearts

upon looking into these things.

13So buckle up your minds,

sober up,

and trust till the end

in the grace being brought to you

in Christ Jesus’s revelation.

14Be like obedient children,

not falling back on your former ignorance and desires,

15but according to the holy One who calls you.

Become holy yourselves, in every way of life.

16This is why it’s written,

“You will be holy because I am holy.” Lv 11.44

I should note: In verse 12 I translated ἄγγελοι/ángeli, which is typically translated “angels,” by its literal meaning “messengers.” Popular Christian culture likes to claim the Holy Spirit revealed the mysteries of Jesus and salvation to us Christians, but not to the angels, even though they totally yearned to know it. Thing is, there’s no legitimate biblical basis for this belief; just misinterpreted verses. In fact the angel Gabriel totally knew about these things—and Gabriel’s the one who shared some of it with the prophets Daniel, Zechariah, and Mary. This angel knew the mysteries first; I wouldn’t be at all surprised if all of ’em knew it first. After all, darn near all of them appeared to the shepherds to announce our Savior had been born.

Anyway, for this reason I’m pretty sure Peter meant any messenger of God should wanna look into these things, whether angels or humans. You should wanna know. Every Christian should! So, as Peter continues in verse 13, buckle up!

Special revelation in the present day.

Most Christians understand that God continues to reveal himself to humanity. I would say he constantly reveals himself; he’s constantly talking to people. Plenty of Christians have a conversational prayer life with God. As for those who don’t: He works around our hesitancy or ignorance. He’ll drop an idea in our heads, and we might think it’s one of ours, but it’ll be way better, way more fruitful, than any of ours. He’ll give you a dream you can’t forget, or one of his many prophets will tell us something that pokes us right in the conscience… along with the Holy Spirit, who pokes us there an awful lot too.

Every time God answers a prayer, every time he performs a miracle, every time he gives out a message for another person—whether it’s encouragement or divine knowledge—in every interaction, we see more examples of what God can do, and God’s good character. We learn more about God.

True, there are cessationists who insist God stopped doing all that stuff in bible times; who insist the only way we can learn about God is by reading and quoting and studying bible. And I’m not gonna discourage getting to know that bible; it’s how we confirm the God who’s actively doing stuff among us, is the very same Holy Spirit whom Jesus promised to send us. But what evidence do cessationists have that God doesn’t specially reveal himself anymore—that instead he’s forsaken us—other than out-of-context bible verses?

Well none. Just their own prejudices against people who claim they had God-experiences. Just their terror of the very idea that Christianity isn’t under their control at all; that in fact the Holy Spirit has his own agenda, and because they’ve been denying his activity they don’t actually know him as much as they’ve been claiming; and because some of ’em have been calling his activity devilish, turns out they’ve been blaspheming him.

Funny thing is, I grew up among cessationists. And even they will talk about God’s current activity. They’ll talk about looking at nature and deducing God from it. Awesome discoveries from the Hubble and Webb telescopes reveal what God made. Awesome scientific breakthroughs reveal God’s intelligent design. A newborn baby or a really cool sunset both reveal God’s current activity. So if God’s continually revealing himself through nature… then he is continually revealing himself, isn’t he? Gotcha.

Premillennialism: Jesus is gonna rule the world.

PREMILLENNIALISM 'pri.mɪ'lɛn.i.əl.ɪz.əm noun. Belief after Christ Jesus’s return, he and his saints will reign on earth a thousand years.

[Premillenarism 'pri.mɪ'lɛn.ər.ɪz.əm noun., premillennial 'pri.mɪ'lɛn.i.əl adjective.]

As I’ve written before, all my life I’ve been a part of Evangelical churches which taught premillennialism: They all believed when Jesus returns, it’s to literally set up God’s kingdom here on earth.

It’s a literal interpretation of Revelation 20:

Revelation 20.4-6 NRSVue

4Then I saw thrones, and those seated on them were given authority to judge. I also saw the souls of those who had been beheaded for their testimony to Jesus and for the word of God. They had not worshiped the beast or its image and had not received its brand on their foreheads or their hands. They came to life and reigned with Christ a thousand years. 5(The rest of the dead did not come to life until the thousand years were ended.) This is the first resurrection. 6Blessed and holy are those who share in the first resurrection. Over these the second death has no power, but they will be priests of God and of Christ, and they will reign with him a thousand years.

Since Revelation consists of apocalyptic visions which aren’t meant to be taken literally, most Christians don’t take this passage literally either, and are amillennial: They figure the millennium represents the Christian Era, i.e. right now, and Jesus and his saints kinda rule over it; then Jesus will end the world at his second coming, and off we go to New Heaven. Amillennialists say we premillennialists are claiming a metaphor is literally gonna happen. It’s like claiming when Jesus returns, a giant mustard tree has to grow in Jerusalem for the birds to nest under.

And I actually agree with them: We can’t interpret this passage as if this is how things are literally gonna happen. But we can interpret it—same as we interpret Revelation 21’s descriptions of the New Heaven and New Earth—as how things are sorta gonna be. Jesus conquers the world, Rv 19.11-16 takes out the Beast and his armies Rv 19.17-21 (whether you consider the Beast a specific political leader, or all the corrupt systems currently ruling the world), chains Satan and imprisons it in the Abyss, Rv 20.1-3 then resurrects his saints so they can serve Jesus, and Jesus rules the world. Rv 20.4-6 And since Jesus conquers the world before he personally takes over—and the world surely hasn’t been conquered by Christendom, much less Jesus—it stands to reason these are future events. Jesus’s millennial reign is not now. It’s later.

Oh, and it likely doesn’t last a literal millennium. The apostle John no doubt used that word to describe a significantly long time. But if it lasts 100 years, 1,000 years, 10,000 years, or Jesus is planning to rule this world till our sun finally goes nova, we Christians ought not be picky.

Get in the closet.

Matthew 6.6.

The reason Jesus addresses public prayer in his Sermon on the Mount is to discourage hypocrisy. That’s what you saw in public places in Israel: People conspicuously praying so that others would see them, and think them devout.

Whereas Jesus told his followers that if you legitimately want to pray, make it a private conversation.

Matthew 6.6 KWL

“You, whenever you pray,

go into your private room, closing your door;

and pray to your Father in private.

And your Father, who sees what’s done in private,

will pay you back {in the open}.”

Ἐν τῷ φανερῷ/en to faneró, “in the open,” was added to Matthew by the Textus Receptus, both here and in verse 4. It’s not in the oldest copies of Matthew; it was added in the fourth century. Again, since Jesus is bringing us our compensation at his return, Rv 22.12 this isn’t a problematic addition. Still, Jesus didn’t say it.

The KJV translates ταμεῖόν/tameión as “closet,” and the NET as “inner room.” Your average middle eastern house would have two rooms—the main room, which you could access through the front door, and the smaller back room, which you could only access from the inside. Guests could enter the main room, but only family went into the back room: It was private. That’s the tameión. Wealthier middle easterners would have a number of ’em in their homes, and use them for storage—hence the KJV’s translation “closet.” But it doesn’t have to be a closet. Just someplace private.

Now, why would you have to go someplace private to pray, when it’s much easier to speak with God in your mind, and not aloud? Simple: Ancient middle easterners didn’t pray like that. They prayed aloud.

You’re talking to God, right? Which means you’re talking to God. Not thinking at God. I know; a lot of Christians pray silently, and for many of us it’s the only way we pray. Most of the time it’s not appropriate to pray aloud. If you prayed aloud at work, people’d think you’re weird. If you prayed aloud in public school, some idiot would complain about it. If everybody in church simultaneously prayed aloud, it’d get loud (and in ancient times, when people prayed aloud, it absolutely did get loud).

In general, we’re encouraged to pray silently, and that’s understandable in a lot of places. But Christians get the wrong idea and think we’re always to pray silently. No we’re not.

Lookit how Jesus demonstrates prayer in the scriptures. When he went off to pray, even by himself, privately between him and the Father, other people could overhear him. Like in Gethsemane. Mt 26.39, Lk 22.41-42 The reason we even have records in the bible of people’s prayers, is ’cause these folks weren’t silent. They spoke.

I should add: Praying in your mind is much harder than praying aloud. Because the mind wanders. (By design! It’s how the creative process works.) In the middle of our mental conversations with God, stray thoughts pop into our heads. In a verbal conversation, we can choose whether we’ll say such things aloud, but in a mental conversation, we can’t do that: There they are. We just thought ’em. They interrupted our prayers, like a rude friend who thinks he’s being funny, but isn’t. Ordinarily we ignore those thoughts. In mental prayers, we find it really hard to. Even the best-trained minds struggle with that. And a lot of Christians get frustrated with it, so they give up and pray seldom, if at all. Don’t do that. If you lose your train of thought all the time during prayer, stop praying silently. Pray aloud. It helps a lot.

“But what,” Christians object, “about privacy?” Discussions between us and God are often sensitive. We don’t want people listening in on our conversations, like they do when we answer our mobile phones at the coffeehouse. We want privacy. That’s why prayed in our minds in the first place. And this is precisely why Jesus talks about praying in private.

Simon Peter and the kingdom we inherit.

1 Peter 1.1-9.

Simon Peter wrote a few letters before his death under Nero Claudius Caesar Augustus Germanicus in the 60s. We have two of ’em in the New Testament—one which he wrote to the Christians of what is now Türkiye, and another which he wrote to Christians in general.

Some commentators think he wrote his letters under persecution, and some think he wrote ’em before. And of course that’s seriously gonna influence the way we interpret the letter. When Peter writes about “the testing of your faith” in verse 7 of today’s passage, we’re gonna wonder whether he’s writing about the usual difficulties of daily life in a largely pagan culture… or whether he’s writing about full-on tribulation, as the Romans tried to round up people whom they thought were terrorists. Nero blamed the Great Fire of Rome in 64 on them, and hunted them down like ICE hunts immigrants; to put ’em in island concentration camps like he did John, or to execute them like he eventually did Peter.

I mean, 1 Peter can be applicable in both situations—under life’s usual trials, or under a fascist purge. Most scriptures are flexible like that. But we don’t know which of the two the west Asian Christians were going through, and I’m gonna presume Peter wrote it before the persecutions… otherwise there’d be way more about persecution in the letter.

Now, some Christians insist it had to have been written during persecution, ’cause Peter talks so much about the second coming of Jesus. But that’s because Peter expected the second coming to happen in his lifetime. He was off by a few millennia, but he didn’t know that. All he knew was he was right there when Jesus got raptured into heaven, and the two men told him and the Eleven he coming back in the same way. Ac 1.11 He saw Jesus get transfigured. He knew this future kingdom of Christ is coming. He was excited about it! We should be excited about it! So this comes out in his letter. Doesn’t take persecution to bring it out of you.

1 Peter 1.1-9 KWL

1Peter, apostle of Christ Jesus,

to the “foreign” elect of the Diaspora—

of Pontus, Galatia, Cappadocia,

Asia Minor, and Bithynia.

2By God the Father’s foreknowledge,

in the Holy Spirit’s holiness,

into obedience—

and the sprinkling of Christ Jesus’s blood—

may grace to you, and peace, multiply!

3Blessed are you God,

father of our Master, Christ Jesus.

By his great mercy he makes us born again,

into a living hope

through Christ Jesus’s resurrection from the dead.

4Born again into an inheritance,

unspoiled, untainted, unfading,

under guard in the heavens for you all.

5And you are guarded

by God’s power, through your faith,

for the salvation he prepared,

to be revealed in the End Time.

6In that, you can jump for joy—

for now, briefly, it’s necessary to grieve

from our various temptations.

7Thus the testing of your faith,

which is more precious than gold,

which perishes through fire,

might be found proven,

to the praise, glory, and honor

at the revelation of Christ Jesus.

8You don’t see him;

you still love him.

You can’t look upon him just now,

and you believers still jump

for inexpressible and magnificent joy

9at receiving the outcome of your faith:

Salvation of your souls.

Unbelieving Christian leaders.

Years ago I listened to a Christian podcast in which the host interviewed an ex-pastor, whom I’ll call Trophimus. (Honestly, I didn’t change his name to protect the innocent; or in this case guilty. It’s because I just forgot his name.)

Trophimus had retired from ministry a few years before. Now he was writing books; this interview was to promote his book. Not as part of a publisher’s book tour; he was self-publishing, so he was self-promoting. The subject of his book? How he led his church for a full decade… despite the fact he no longer believed in God.

He wouldn’t call himself atheist. He’d say agnostic; he wasn’t sure God exists. Couldn’t feel or sense him. All the warm fuzzy feelings were gone. Bible and Christian literature were no help. And those Christian friends whom he shared his doubts with…

Ah, there’s the rub. Trophimus shared his doubts with no one. No counselors, no mentors, no close friends, not even his wife. I’m not sure he even talked with God about it—“Lord, I believe; help thou mine unbelief.” Mk 9.24 KJV I mean, it’s not like unbelievers never ever pray, when desperate. Maybe he didn’t feel desperate enough.

In any event Trophimus hid his doubts as best he could, went through the motions, and stuck out his job till he was ready to retire.

“So,” the podcast host bluntly said, “you were a hypocritical fraud for 10 years. Just doing it for the money.”

You could hear Trophimus bristle at that description. Absolutely not, he insisted. He wanted to believe again; really he did. He didn’t stay in his pastorate just for the money; he was hoping something might reactivate his faith. Maybe he’d see a miracle. Or hear God, or otherwise have a God-experience.

“You ever try the Pentecostals?” the host said; “plenty of God-stuff happens there.”

“No,” Trophimus chuckled. I’m guessing he never considered them. I’m Pentecostal, and to be blunt, some of us are mighty weird, so I get it. Still, if you claim you’re desperate for a God-experience, I’m gonna suspect your claims are entirely B.S. when you absolutely rule out continuationist churches where such experiences happen. But I digress.

Nonetheless, Trophimus figured being in ministry gave him a better-than-average chance of seeing God stuff. He’s not wrong, but in my experience it depends on what kind of ministry you’re doing. Are you working with seriously needy people, or are you only interacting with fairly comfortable rich people? If your people don’t have real needs, how’re you gonna witness God meeting needs? But that’s another digression.

“Okay,” said the host, “but you didn’t even tell your wife? You couldn’t trust her with your secret? For 10 whole years? She has to feel so betrayed.”

Yeah, this wasn’t a comfortable interview for Trophimus. He kept trying to justify himself, and the host was having none of it, and kept calling out his hypocrisy. I found it memorable because it was mighty cringey—and not very gracious, unfortunately. It was probably the very same judgmental response Trophimus feared the moment he outed himself.

But to be fair to the podcast host: For 10 whole years Trophimus committed spiritual fraud.