You seriously think Jesus would disown his mom?
Mark 3.20-21, 31-35 • Matthew 12.46-50 • Luke 8.19-21
Today’s story refers to Jesus, his mom, and his adelfoí/“siblings” (
Y’see Jesus’s mom, Mary, was a virgin when she conceived and gave birth to Jesus.
Even though Jesus had siblings.
But they explain away the siblings pretty simply. Either these are step-siblings, ’cause Jesus’s adoptive dad Joseph had a previous wife, and these are his kids from that marriage; or cousins, ’cause they insist adelfoí can also mean “cousins.”
(Well, now Greek dictionaries say adelfoí can mean cousins. But in the first century, before Christians came up with the “actually they were cousins” theory, Greek-speakers used other words, like synghenís/“relative,” anepsiós/“[parent’s] nephew.” The redefinition became popular in the second century and thereafter.)
Okay. I grew up Protestant, and we have no problem with the idea Mary gave birth to children after Jesus. It seems to be the simplest interpretation of the text. But I’m also aware loads of Christians believe otherwise… and I don’t see any pressing reason to demand they believe as I do. If they wanna insist Mary had no biological kids besides Jesus, fine; she adopted them.
’Cause where we should agree is these “siblings” are Jesus’s legal siblings. Just as Joseph isn’t Jesus’s biological dad, but absolutely his legal dad. Adoption counts. Regardless of how these kids were begotten, they were Jesus’s legal siblings. Period.
This is the first we see of Jesus’s family in Mark, and what we see is they worry Jesus lost his mind.
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This is the first half of the story; Mark splits it here and inserts a story in the middle about “Beelzebub,” as it’s called. Get to that later. Today I’m putting the parts together and discussing ’em.
Disrespecting one another?
The usual interpretation of exésti/“overwhelmed” is “beside himself” (
But “gone mad” tends to be the usual interpretation for two reasons. One is the Beelzebub story Mark wedged between it: First Jesus’s family says he’s exésti, then the Jerusalem scribes say he’s using devilish power to throw out devils. People figure they’re both about the same thing: Neither group believes in Jesus, and both of ’em attribute his ministry to either Satan or madness.
The other reason is projection. I’ll get to that.
So supposedly his family thought him nuts. Whereas Jesus, who knew precisely what he was doing, disowned them and said his real family are his followers. Guess they know and do God’s will better than his family.
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As Walter W. Wessel put it in The Expositor’s Bible Commentary:
When Jesus was told that his mother and his brothers were looking for him,
Mk 3.32 he responded by asking the question, “Who are my mother and my brothers?”Mk 3.33 Then with a sweep of his eyes over those seated in a circle around him, he identified his true family: “Here are my mother and my brothers.”Mk 3.34 This statement probably included only the Twelve, who were seated nearest to Jesus. They had responded to his call to be with him. There were now spiritual ties between him and them that were far closer than blood ties. EBC at Mk 3.32-34
I’ll grant you there are ties between us and Jesus which are closer than family ties. Although considering they were made by shedding his blood, and represented by how we drink “his blood” in holy communion, I’d avoid comparing our connection with “blood ties.” We have blood ties with Jesus. Just of a different sort.
Still, had Jesus’s mom and brothers actually merited him disowning them like this? Disrespecting them? Leaving them outside while he embraced the new family he’d created for himself?
Lemme remind you of those Christians who believe Jesus’s mom stayed a virgin: If you even suggest she ever sinned in anyway, they’ll fight you. If they’re not very devout Christians, they’ll even do it with pointed sticks.
She’s why I reject the idea Jesus disowned his family: His mom did believe in him. Believed in him so much, she nudged him to perform his first miracle.
Jesus’s sibs sorta believed in him. They knew he could do miracles, and encouraged him to show them off, but didn’t get the point behind them.
Knowing Jesus’s mother’s great faith, why then was she there with his siblings? No, it’s not because she thought him mad. It was concern for his well-being. She was a mom. Moms do that.
Not, like interpreters speculate, because of embarrassment, because he humiliated the family, nor because of the nefarious jealousy the scribes expressed. True, both Jesus’s family and the scribes were guilty of not quite understanding him, and jumping to negative conclusions. But the two stories are put here for contrast: The scribes were biased against Jesus; his family was biased for him.
And don’t forget Jesus’s character. He doesn’t reject people. When people come to him, it’s because the Father drew them,
I brought up projection, remember? The reason Christians assume Jesus would just dismiss his family out of hand because they misunderstood him, is not who he is; it’s who we are. We end relationships over some minor slight. We stop talking to family members because they embarrassed us, or are difficult and untrustworthy, or just because they bug us. We refuse to accept people who believe and think differently than we do. We don’t forgive. Does Jesus behave this way whatsoever? No. He forgives everything. Jesus even forgave the pagans who crucified him.
That’s why Christians embrace the interpretation where Jesus rejected his family in favor of his followers: It justifies all the awful behavior we exhibit towards our own families. “Family doesn’t support you? Turn your back on them; it’s what Jesus did!” But no he didn’t.
Jesus’s family was awesome. How do we measure up?
Jesus’s mom, Mary, was the “young woman” (as her culture called people who recently reached adulthood, which back then was at age 13) who obeyed God when an angel told her God chose her to carry and birth his Messiah.
After Jesus rose from the dead he made a point of appearing to his brother James.
So when Jesus asked the question, “Who’s my mother and my siblings?”
Jesus wasn’t disrespecting and dismissing his family; he was complimenting them. What sort of person were his mom and siblings? “Whoever might do my heavenly Father’s will”—like they did—“they’re my brother, sister, and mother.”
