Had to resist the temptation to title this article, “There goes my hero; watch him as he goes.” You’ll see why.
This week I came across two cases of a person—a person many people greatly admire—failing. One’s Christian; one’s
Starting with the pagan, ’cause I read about him first. I don’t expect all my readers to know who rock star Dave Grohl is. You might’ve heard of his first band, Nirvana; you might’ve heard of his current band, Foo Fighters. Both bands have been very successful. I still listen to their music. (No, you don’t have to if you don’t wanna.) Grohl announced recently that, once again, he’s gonna be a father. Mazel tov!… except it turns out the mother of his new baby isn’t his wife, and he’s filing for divorce from said wife, and his adult kids have turned off their social media accounts because they don’t wanna deal with his upset fans. I don’t blame ’em.
Yes, his fans are upset. Grohl has a reputation as a family man. Unlike most rock stars, who leave the wife and kids at home, go on the road, and partly like… well, obviously rock stars, Grohl and his bandmates deliberately brought their families with them. Hey, they’re rich; why not? For that matter why don’t other rock stars?—other than the obvious reasons of road-trip infidelity. But Grohl kinda showcased the fact the band’s families were traveling with them, and even had his kids come on stage and play along. Fun to watch! So his fans grew used to thinking of Grohl as a good guy and loyal husband.
And maybe he was loyal. I don’t really know him; neither do his fans, no matter what they might imagine. For all we know he might’ve separated from his wife years ago, and just kept it private. Or he might’ve cheated on her constantly. I’ve no idea.
Either way, I’m not gonna judge Grohl. I have no business doing any such thing. Maybe he has legit reasons for what happened, but even if they aren’t—to me anyway—he’s not Christian! He doesn’t answer to Jesus; he certainly doesn’t answer to me. If he wants to end things with his wife and be with someone else, he can. Society will judge him for it, and society doesn’t do grace, so that sucks. (Then again
When I first heard this news (’cause this made the news; I didn’t read it on any gossip blog) my knee-jerk reaction was, “Aw, that’s too bad.” Divorce sucks.
But then I read a certain article on an entertainment website.
Fallen heroes.
The article was written by an obvious fan, and he’s hugely disappointed in Grohl.
He loved the idea of a rock star who had a stable home life. Who wasn’t just trying to sleep with every willing fan—and there are a lot of willing fans! (Even in the Christian music business. Don’t kid yourselves.) Who kept it in his pants, and didn’t produce an unexpected midlife-crisis “love child.” The author admitted it was probably unrealistic to have these expectations; rock stars are gonna rockstar. But he’s still bummed.
This article reminded me so much of stuff I’ve read… by Christians whose pastors had just stumbled. And they were hugely disappointed. And admitted to themselves yeah, they shouldn’t’ve put those guys on a pedestal like they did. Pastors are only human; there but for the grace of God; blah blah blah. But they’re still bummed.
The cherry on top was a press release posted to one of the discussion groups I participate in: Pastor Steven J. Lawson of Trinity Bible Church (Dallas, TX) was suspended without pay, ’cause he confessed to “an inappropriate relationship that he has had with a woman.”
That’s all the details Trinity’s
Let’s be honest: Most churches suck at transparency. And I’ve been a member of some of those churches! A pastor did some bad stuff, and the church board quietly fired the pastor and swept the controversy under the rug, and of course it led to people quitting the church, and rightly so. The elders wrongly thought, “If everybody knew what happened, things’d be so much worse.” Nope! People would’ve respected them for being honest. But they followed their fears instead of the truth, and things got just as bad as they worried they would. This scenario happens over and over again, in churches round the world. Churches should be the most transparent organizations in the world, and yet they aren’t—forcing the Holy Spirit to expose their wickedness himself, but that’s also another rant.
So like I said, I don’t know what Lawson specifically did. Christians should be transparently told what he did, without any silly “inappropriate relationship” euphemisms, for obvious reasons:
- In case Lawson ditches that church instead of reconciling with it, and tries to start a new church, Mark Driscoll-style. Or tries to get hired by your church.
- Because we’ll just presume he committed adultery, and that rumor will spread, and what if he did no such thing? Aren’t we therefore slandering him?
- Because what if it was worse than adultery, and he oughta be in prison, and his elders are covering it up like the Catholics and Baptists did?
Lemme be clear: I don’t at all believe that last thing’s the case. But again, I don’t know. Because the elders of his church, instead of plainly and truthfully explaining things, don’t wanna embarrass him.
But enough speculation. Fact is, every time a pastor gets entangled in a controversy like this one, unless the people of his church were fully aware he’s a dog, there’s gonna be plenty of people who are shocked. Some will think all the charges are absolutely false—even if the pastor confessed like Lawson did—and insist it’s all lies from the devil. Some will be shattered, ’cause they thought they knew this guy, and he was a good guy, and how could he betray their unrealistic mental images of him?
Been there. Multiple times. Pastors fail all the time. Shouldn’t come as a surprise to anyone anymore. Yet every single time, it does. And people are gobsmacked, and hurt, and disappointed.
Just like that entertainment reporter was disappointed in Dave Grohl.
Iconoclasm.
Of course, every time somebody preaches or writes about this subject, they’re gonna say the usual clichés about how we shouldn’t idolize our fellow human beings. Any of ’em. They’re all fallible. Trust Jesus alone.
Heck, every time I’ve preached or written about this subject, I’ve said that. Kinda just said it again.
But today I’m taking a different tack. Because it really hasn’t been enough for us to not make idols out of our fellow human beings. We’ve warned people time and again to not do that… and it hasn’t worked. People still get disappointed and upset when their heroes stumble. People still get surprised and upset, and stammer, “I thought I could trust that guy at least!” and so forth.
Yep, we suck at not making idols of people. We say, “Yep, never again!” then turn round and do it again. And again, and again, and again.
So here’s something I’m gonna recommend which you probably weren’t expecting:
Are there better bible teachers than me? Absolutely! Why am I teaching but not them? Because I was in the right place at the right time. Time and chance, folks!
Okay yeah, sometimes God totally puts people in the right place at the right time; I’ve read Esther too. I’ve also read where Esther’s cousin Mordecai told her—my paraphrase—“If you don’t step up, salvation will come from someplace else.”
The cynical reality is our leaders are not supermen. Our heroes are not exceptional people. They’re just people. Anybody else could’ve stumbled into their position, and probably would’ve done just as well. Maybe even better!—but we’ll never know. The fact they’re doing all right, when they’re doing all right, should be expected; that’s what all of us rightly should be doing. But don’t be surprised when they fail, ’cause they will,
And always, always expect power to corrupt. ’Cause it does! Humans were never meant to be worshiped, and it corrodes us. So install lots of checks and balances, lots of accountability structures, to keep power from going to people’s heads, and keep people from hoarding and abusing it. Tax the rich. Never give presidents unlimited immunity. Never let pastors think
