Praying before bed.

When I was a kid, Mom would have us say our prayers before bed. We’d get in bed, the lights would go off, and we’d pray something along the lines of, “Dear LORD, please bless Mom and Dad and [big list of every family member and friend we could think of] in Jesus name amen.”

She didn’t have to make us do this; we wanted to. In fact we’d get really upset if we didn’t get to—and sometimes we didn’t get to. Mom would be busy, or Dad would require her attention and he’d tell us, “Just go to bed,” and since we were little kids we’d cry about it, and Dad would yell, “GO TO BED DAMMIT,” and we’d flee before he’d blaspheme further, or get out the paddle. But still cry.

As we got older we were kinda expected to do bedtime prayers on our own… and I got out of the habit. Mostly because my prayers weren’t short and simple anymore, and I kept falling asleep on God, and felt guilty about that. Even though there’s nothing wrong with falling asleep when you’re praying. Like Pope Francis used to point out, fathers love it when their children fall asleep on their lap; it’s the same deal with God. Besides, if it’s something we actually need to tell him, we’ll bring it up to him later.

But really, because of that irrational guilt about regularly falling asleep on God, I stopped praying before bed. I pray after I wake up.

Whenever I tell people this, I regularly hear, “Oh, you should really pray before bed. Otherwise you’ll have bad dreams.” Okay, maybe you’ll have bad dreams; I rarely do. If you think God will smite you with bad dreams because you don’t pray, or think evil spirits will invade your dreams because you didn’t ask God to put any hedge of protection around your sleep, do you have an unhealthy understanding of God. Honestly, if you’re having regular bad dreams, that’s a mental health problem. You need to talk to a therapist, not try to pray the problem away.

Other times, Christians will get super legalistic with me about bedtime prayer—as if we have to do it. Gotta pray when we wake up; gotta pray before bed; gotta say grace before meals; have to, or we’re bad Christians. That’s likewise an unhealthy understanding of God. Of course we Christians need to talk to our Father on a regular basis, but mandatory prayer times are our idea, not God’s. If I don’t pray before bed, even if it were my usual practice, I’m not in trouble with God!—and he’s not gonna smite me for missing prayer time. Nor is he gonna smite me for skipping grace, skipping my morning prayers, nor skipping all my usual prayers. I’ll feel weird about it—and that’s all.

So nope, you don’t have to pray before bed. But I will say if prayer calms you down—as it should, ’cause you’re thinking about God instead of your usual worries—it can be a healthy way to wind yourself down before bedtime. So can meditation and worship and other positive God-things we do. When we’re doing ’em right, they naturally drive out negativity.

Bedtime rote prayers.

Years ago in a Christian bookstore (back when we had actual brick-’n-mortar Christian bookstores), I stumbled across a book of bedtime prayers. Fifty cheesy, cliché-filled bedtime prayers. Adult versions of “Now I lay me down to sleep; I pray the LORD my soul to keep; if I should die before I wake, please make my boss step on a rake.” That sort of thing. Made me roll my eyes, then go look for anything better to read.

I’ve since come across books on how to pray powerfully before bed, and they’re pretty much written the same way as all the other books about power through prayer. Lots of naming and claiming no-stress restful sleep, and protection against evil spirits. Basically they want you to go into full-on prayer warrior mode before bed—as if fervent prayer isn’t itself stressful! I suppose it’ll tire you out though… but I dread to think what sort of messed-up dreams you’ll have, if you’re afraid demons are hiding behind every dark corner like they are in This Present Darkness.

But some of the bedtime prayers I’ve read, aren’t bad. “Thank you for today, and helping me get through its challenges; thank you that you’re going to be with me tomorrow to do the same; thank you for your unconditional love; in Jesus’s name amen.” Good healthy stuff like that. If you wanna Google some of those prayers, and memorize and use some of them, go for it.

And of course every other rote prayer can be used for bedtime. Wanna pray the Lord’s Prayer before bed? Do it! Wanna pray St. Patrick’s Breastplate before bed? Really weird—especially since you don’t “arise today,” but in the morning—but why not? Any rote prayer is fine, so long that you mean it.

And if you fall asleep on God as you’re telling him goodnight, don’t worry about it. He’s got you.