Excommunication: Getting kicked out of church.

To a lot of people, excommunication is a scary word. Mainly because they get the definition wrong, and think it means damned: If a church excommunicates you, they figure it means they took back your salvation, and now you’re going to hell. They just gave you the eternal death penalty.

Which seems… well, mighty unchristian of them. Isn’t salvation and un-salvation up to God? Aren’t we, instead, supposed to be pointing to him, his grace and forgiveness, and supposed to be practicing some of that grace ourselves? What business do we Christians have in damning anyone?

Whoa, hey, calm down little hypothetical buckaroo. That’s not what it is, or means. Excommunication means, and only means, a church has kicked someone out. They don’t consider that person part of their church anymore. That person can no longer worship God with them—they can no longer share holy communion, which is where the word comes from. Someone you can share communion with is a “communicant,” but they are an “ex-communicant.”

Other churches don’t wanna use the word excommunication because they worry it does mean you’re un-saving someone, and they don’t presume they have the power to do that—or don’t wanna do that. So they call it other things. “Disassociation” or “disfellowshipping” or “expulsion” or “removal.” Whatever you wanna call it, it all means the same thing: They were in the church; now they’re not.

Why would we kick someone out of church? A number of reasons. The most obvious being they’re a dangerous person: They bring weapons to church, or pick fights, or can’t be trusted with children. For everybody else’s safety, they need to go away—sometimes in handcuffs, escorted by police.

More often it’s because of egregious sins, and they don’t care to repent of them. They’ve stolen stuff from the church; they’ve been promiscuous or abusive, and ruined relationships between church members; they’ve otherwise been a lousy Christian. Some of those sins are understandable when they’re new believers, but not when they’re longtime Christians, and definitely not if they’re in any position of authority or leadership.

Quite often, it’s because of heresy. They’ve been teaching stuff that goes against the church’s faith statement, or which violates historic Christian beliefs: Claiming Jesus isn’t really God, or God isn’t really a trinity, or there’s no resurrection of the dead, or Jesus isn’t ever coming back. They’re in a church which accepts miracles, yet they’re insisting miracles stopped in bible times, and every “miracle” since is devilish; or they’re in a church which forbids tongues, yet they’re insisting everyone should speak in tongues. They’ve been told to cut it out; they won’t, so out they go.

Also quite often, it’s voluntary. These people choose to disconnect themselves from their church. They think the leaders have gone wrong, or the church is heretic, or the members are sinners and hypocrites. Sometimes they even quit Christianity and left Jesus too. And sometimes it’s not even this particular church; they just don’t wanna go to any church anymore, for various reasons—none of ’em good.

Those who don’t approve of excommunication. Ever. For any reason.

The last couple times I’ve talked with people about excommunication, it was about someone they felt was wrongly booted out of the church.

They insist the excommunicant was not heretic. Not a sinner. Not disruptive. Not unrepentant. Other people might’ve reacted negatively to them, but that’s their hangup. Well… okay maybe they were a little dickish, but they have good reasons for it—and besides, other people in the church were way worse, yet they’re still in the church. Leadership overreacted!

In one church I used to belong to, one of the leaders was asked to leave—and in order to discourage gossip, the congregation wasn’t told why. Which was, to be blunt, a really stupid decision: By not telling us why the person had to leave, we speculated like crazy, and probably gossiped way more than we ever would have if we simply knew what the issue was. Whenever you got a situation that’s escalated to the point someone might have to leave our church, Jesus actually instructs us to tell the church—

Matthew 18.15-18 NASB

15“Now if your brother sins, go and show him his fault in private; if he listens to you, you have gained your brother. 16But if he does not listen to you, take one or two more with you, so that ON THE TESTIMONY OF TWO OR THREE WITNESSES EVERY MATTER MAY BE CONFIRMED. Dt 19.15 17And if he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church; and if he refuses to listen even to the church, he is to be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector. 18Truly I say to you, whatever you bind on earth shall have been bound in heaven; and whatever you loose on earth shall have been loosed in heaven.”

Frankly, too many churches try to sweep these matters under the rug, partly because they don’t wanna embarrass anyone, partly because they’re afraid of getting sued if they do embarrass anyone. And sometimes it’s because the leadership wants to get away with something they shouldn’t, and keep the people of their church in the dark so they don’t have to answer to them.

The reason Christ Jesus tells us to be transparent is it’s honest, it does tamp down on gossip… and when you don’t know why someone was expelled from your church, you might suspect it was for no good reason, and won’t treat that person like “a Gentile and a tax collector” (i.e. people Jesus’s culture typically shunned). Thing is, they may very well be the sort of toxic hypocrite whom we absolutely should stay far away from.

One of my discussions about excommunication was with someone who strongly believes Christians should never kick anyone out. Ever. Because God loves everybody, Jesus died for everybody, and therefore everybody should be welcome. No matter what. Even the very worst sinners should always be granted access to our churches, for the same reason they should always be able to turn to Jesus and be saved. Any church which kicks a person out, is therefore guilty of not loving humanity like Jesus does. Probably aren’t true Christians either.

I had to disagree, ’cause I’ve seen people who absolutely needed to be banned from our churches. Disruptive people who wanna shout down the preacher and take over the service. Demonized people who wanna drive Christians out of there before the Holy Spirit does anything with us. White supremacists who wanna drive away all the minorities; sexists who wanna belittle and undermine any women in leadership; partisans who wanna take a minor, debatable issue and make it an essential one, then expel everyone who disagrees with them on it. Anybody who wants to chip away at Jesus’s church, if not fracture it entirely, needs to go.

If you’ve ever heard of the “paradox of tolerance,” it’s the idea that society should accept everyone, no matter what. It’s basically what these folks who disapprove of excommunication believe: Christians should open the church doors to absolutely anyone, and tolerate everyone. The paradoxical part is when you tolerate intolerant people: If you permit such people in your society, you risk the possibility of them gaining power, and so much for your tolerant society. Likewise with Christians permitting disruptive people to join us: They’re gonna undermine the church.

Me, I don’t believe the “paradox of tolerance” is an actual paradox. Tolerance is a social agreement: I tolerate you, and you tolerate me. If you don’t tolerate me, you broke the agreement, and we got a problem. Likewise joining our church is another social agreement: Come on in!—but we’re a community of God’s peace, and don’t disturb the peace for selfish or evil reasons. Otherwise you’ll have to go.

Improper excommunications.

You remember I quoted Jesus in Matthew 18. That’s his procedure for excommunicating someone: They sinned against someone, didn’t repent, defied counsel, and ultimately defied the whole church. Out they go till they do repent.

More often, when we hear of some church booting somebody, it sounds like they did it wrong. The person offended a leader, an important church member, or the pastor, and was summarily kicked out. The members of a church put together a petition—with signatures!—to get rid of people they don’t like. The leaders revoke memberships because people don’t contribute enough money. Or they’re constantly threatening excommunication—and hellfire—in order to keep people in line.

There might’ve been a semblance of Jesus’s procedure—there was a private meeting, then a group meeting, then a public meeting—but steps were skipped. People weren’t given a chance to repent. Or their repentance was heard, but not accepted. Or penance and rehabilitation was demanded.

Yeah, penance and rehabilitation. Jesus never talks about these subjects, because he invariably talks about radical forgiveness. He never had Simon Peter perform acts of penance, nor go through any form of rehabilitation, for denouncing him. Never had Paul of Tarsus go through penance nor rehabilitation for persecuting his church. Paul might’ve felt he oughta, 1Co 15.9 but Jesus never made any such requirement. Because he already died for that sin. It’s already forgiven. All our sins were forgiven before we ever committed them. As far as God’s concerned, we’re good.

But Christians—and our churches consist of Christians, y’know—are not so forgiving. So some of our churches, before we accept a sinner’s repentance, sometimes have a few hoops for them to jump through before we can fully accept them again as members. Sometimes a lot of hoops. Sometimes so many, you’re never really gonna stop jumping; they never really are gonna forgive those people.

And sometimes it’s totally understandable! I went to a church where the pastor once cheated on his wife. He repented, his wife forgave him, the church forgave him, but from then on, he could never, ever be in a room alone with another woman. He had to follow the Billy Graham rule. That’s his penance—and it sounds perfectly reasonable to me; since he can’t trust himself to keep it in his pants, this’ll probably discourage his adulterous impulses.

But sometimes it’s pure legalism. Repentant sinners are “on probation” for the rest of their lives, and nobody ever trusts ’em… and it’s so entirely unlike Jesus.

In cults it’s used as a method of control. Excommunication is a threat the leaders will regularly use to keep people in line. Won’t obey the pastor?—then you’re out of the church, and since there’s no salvation outside their church, you’re going to hell. (Or, since the Jehovah’s Witnesses don’t believe in hell, when you die you’ll just cease to exist.) Terrorizes people into obedience—and if this is how your church behaves, you’re in a cult; get out. You’re better off in another church.

Proper excommunications.

Before we expel anyone from our churches, we gotta follow Jesus’s instructions: We talk with them privately, then with a small group, then with the whole church. The purpose of these talks are not about deciding blame, or assigning penance, but about restoring our relationships.

Problem is, some sinners aren’t interested in restoring anything. They insist they’re in the right, and “who are you people to tell me what to do?” Their attitude sucks, and they’re neither loving nor humble. We’re dealing with people who certainly don’t act like Christians. It’s entirely likely they aren’t—and we’re finally realizing this.

So while folks wrongly believe excommunication means we’re kicking people out of God’s kingdom, really the reverse is true: We discovered someone who was never really in the kingdom. Their sins, and lack of repentance, indicates they never originally did repent, did come to Jesus. They’re not in our churches legitimately.

But again: The purpose of excommunication isn’t to expel fake Christians. We want such people to become Christian! And this helps wake ’em up to the fact they do need to repent. Hence these statements of Paul:

1 Corinthians 5.5 NASB

I have decided to turn such a person over to Satan for the destruction of his body, so that his spirit may be saved on the day of the Lord.

1 Timothy 1.19-20 NASB

19…keeping faith and a good conscience, which some have rejected and suffered shipwreck in regard to their faith. 20Among these are Hymenaeus and Alexander, whom I have handed over to Satan, so that they will be taught not to blaspheme.

Y’notice Paul refers to excommunication as turning people “over to Satan.” Not because excommunication sends anyone to hell; Satan’s not the ruler of hell; that’s myth. Satan’s on earth, tempting people. Rv 12.9, 1Pe 5.8 Paul’s hope was that people, after experiencing life outside God’s kingdom, they’d snap to their senses, repent, and come back.

In the 1 Corinthians 5 passage, Paul told Corinth to expel a guy who was sleeping with his stepmother. Not because he wanted the man destroyed, but because he wanted the sin destroyed—and he wanted the sin out of the church, lest it corrupt the Christians. Same with Hymenaeus and Alexander of Ephesus, who needed to learn “not to blaspheme”—we don‘t know any further details, but that’s plenty. These fleshly works are obvious indicators these people weren’t following the Spirit, or weren’t even Christian. Excommunication was meant to wake them up, and get ’em to become real Christians. Never to just be rid of ’em.

Lastly, about shunning them. Jesus says to treat ’em like gentiles and taxmen. Mt 18.17 But never forget he made a taxman one of his Twelve, and never forget he lets gentiles into his kingdom.

Can we still talk to, and be friends with, excommunicants? To a point. I would hope you’re still talking with them; they gotta know there’s always a way back to Jesus. But it’s hard to have relationships with people whom we can’t trust. It’s not impossible, but it’s always gonna be hampered by that lack of trust. True, Paul discouraged the Corinthians from associating with unrepentant sinners, 1Co 5.11 and for good reason: It’s really easy to get sucked into their sins. We gotta be wary of such people. True of excommunicants too.

So treat ’em like you would a person who’s in a different religion. Be kind to them. Love them. Do good deeds to them. Don’t shun them, don’t punish them, definitely don’t curse them. They’re out of your church because they behaved like enemies, but we Christians are to love our enemies. So love them. But since they’re out of your church, don’t treat them like they’re in.