Simon Peter’s machete.

Mark 14.47, Matthew 26.51-54, Luke 22.49-51, John 18.10-11.

When I translate the gospels, there’s a word, μάχαιρα/mákhera, which people tend to translate “sword” or “short sword” or “dagger.” Which is actually no such thing; it’s a long heavy single-bladed work knife. It’s a machete. So I translate it “machete.”

And I’ve gotten complaints about this: “He wasn’t wielding a machete!” Yes he was. You just prefer to think of it as a sword. You’ve seen art and movies where people are carrying swords or daggers, not work knives; you prefer to imagine people were using proper weapons of war instead of any tools they happened to own. Even though it’s far more realistic they’d use tools, instead of spending a bunch of denarii they didn’t have on fancy swords with scrollwork and macho-sounding names. And this has always been true. Farmers dragged off to war wouldn’t have proper weapons, so they’d bring their sharpest farm implements. Spontaneous rioters didn’t have a cache of swords, so they’d bring pitchforks and torches. They’d get mowed down by soldiers with swords, battleaxes, and spears, and later rifles. But they’d defend themselves—pitifully—as best they could with what they actually had.

When Jesus was arrested, his students had machetes on them. And one overeager kid whipped it out and started to use it on the mob who’d come to get Jesus.

Mark 14.47 KWL

One of the bystanders, pulling out a machete,

strikes the head priest’s slave, and cuts his ear off.

It’s often said the Gospel of Mark was written by John Mark, the nephew of Barnabas Cl 4.10 whom Paul initially refused to work with Ac 15.37-40 but later called useful. 2Ti 4.11 Tradition has it Mark became a student of Simon Peter, and Peter was the source for his gospel… and if that’s so, it kinda looks like Peter lied to Mark and got him to think this was some bystander, not him. But it’s more likely Peter simply didn’t tell Mark this part of the story, and Mark had to source it from someone else who didn’t know this was Peter.

How do we know it’s Peter? ’Cause Peter’s fellow student John outed him.

John 18.10-11 KWL

10Simon Peter, having a machete, draws it

and strikes the head priest’s slave.

He slices off his right ear.

The slave’s name was Malchus.

11So Jesus tells Peter, “Sheath your machete.

This is the cup the Father gave me.

Shouldn’t I drink it?”

John identifies, and possibly knew, the slave; Malchus is a Romanized form of the Hebrew name מֶלֶךְ/Melékh. John wrote his gospel to fill in the blanks in Luke, and Luke’s gospel is the only one which says Jesus cured poor Malchus right after his ear was lopped off.

Luke 22.49-51 KWL

49Seeing what those round them intend to do,

the students say, “Master, should we strike with a machete?”

50One hit a certain one of them—the head priest’s slave—

and cuts his right ear off.

51In response Jesus says, “That’s enough!”

and touching the ear, Jesus cures him.

And lastly let’s see Matthew, in which Jesus rebukes Peter with his famous line “He who lives by the machete shall die by the machete.” Okay, I realize that’s not how you remember the saying, and I swapped “machete” out with “arms” because I’m quite sure Jesus wasn’t referring to any specific weapon. He who lives by the gun will die by the gun; he who lives by biological warfare will die by biological warfare; he who smites one way will be smitten the same way. Same general idea.

Matthew 26.51-54 KWL

51Look, one of those with Jesus stretches out his hand,

draws his machete,

and, striking the head priest’s slave,

cuts off his ear.

52Then Jesus tells him, “Put your machete back in its place!

For everyone who chooses arms

will be destroyed by arms.

53Or do you think I can’t call out to my Father,

and he will give me, right now,

more than 12 legions of angels?

54Then how might the scriptures be fulfilled?

So this has to happen.”

This story is part of the stations of the cross, ’cause it happens during Jesus’s betrayal and arrest.

What made Peter think to start fighting?

Earlier in Luke, Jesus talks about selling your robe to buy a machete. Lk 22.35-38 Some commentators think Jesus is actually talking about the violent defense of God’s kingdom in that passage. They typically claim this is where Peter got the idea to bring a machete and start swinging: Jesus had said the violent take the kingdom by force, Mt 11.12 so Peter was just being that kind of violent. Wrong time to do it; he was greatly outnumbered, and the Judeans would’ve skewered him if Jesus hadn’t intervened, and besides Jesus had to get arrested in order to fulfill scripture and achieve our atonement. But still—good job Peter! You had the right idea. Keep swinging.

Okay, these commentators are just reading their own violent biases into Jesus’s words. They’re entirely wrong. Jesus’s “He who lives by the machete shall die by the machete” is clear proof he doesn’t endorse violence. I’ll explain in more detail when I get to that Luke 22 passage, but Peter should not have come away from that discussion thinking Jesus gave him license to cut people up. Nothing in Jesus’s teachings gives any Christian any such endorsement.

But plenty in Pharisee teachings do.

Jesus is obviously not Pharisee. Yes, he taught in their synagogues and interacted with their leaders on a frequent basis. But he violated their customs, rebuked their practices, and instead of deferring to the way their elders ruled about scripture, gave his own rulings on scripture. He appreciated them, but he made it clear people are to follow him, not them. “One is your teacher, and that’s Messiah.” Mt 23.10

And when Jesus chose students, he plucked ’em out of their Pharisee environment. These kids were raised in synagogue, taught by synagogue masters (i.e. rabbis), and Jesus was their new master—but was teaching them he was their only master. It’s not Jesus plus the other rabbis; Jesus overrules those other rabbis. And now they had to unlearn everything Pharisees taught ’em about God, the Law of Moses, the End Times, and Messiah.

Problem is, some of those Pharisee beliefs were really deep in ’em. Particularly the idea Messiah would be a political figure who’d overthrow the Romans in battle, same as Judas Maccabee had overthrown the Seleucids and Samson ben Manoah had overthrown the Philistines. (Yeah, both those guys died while fighting their enemies, so not the best examples. But still.) So when a mob of Judeans came to arrest Jesus… this is the first battle, right? We should whip out our machetes, right?

Notice in Luke they don’t even wait for Jesus’s answer; that’s how sure they were this is what they’re meant to do.

The stations of the cross are about the suffering Jesus went through, and I think one of the things which pained Jesus is how this act of violence demonstrates he really hadn’t got through to his kids. They were supposed to know better than to do this. They didn’t. They thought it was right to commit malicious mayhem, even murder, to defend Jesus, who was extraordinarily capable of defending himself Mt 26.53 and chose not to.

Those who imagine themselves to be Jesus’s followers today, are regularly guilty of the same twisted attitude. They wanna defend Jesus and his kingdom. Violently if they have to—but y’notice violence never seems to be their last resort (as if it’s ever meant to be any resort); it’s their first. They’re quick to get physical. Quick to shout, push or drag people away, punch, sue, arrest, detain, and lynch. Quick to think it’s righteous of them to do so: They’re fighting for God. It’s a holy war. God wants them to fight for him. That’s the whole meaning behind their slogan Deus vult, “God wills it”—God wants ’em to kill for him. To sin for him.

Killing and destroying for God in fact means you’re following the wrong god. Jesus teaches us what the true God wants of us, and it’s not that. Blessed are the peacemakers, Mt 5.9 remember? Those are the children of God. The warfighters are not.

And all throughout Christian history, Jesus has had to suffer the pain of watching people take arms against one another in his name, and drag his holy name through the excrement of their ambition and hatred. But, y’know, they’ll stand before him someday. Eventually Jesus’s first students realized their error and did better. Hopefully the rest of us will as well.