Blasphemy: Slandering God’s character.

BLASPHEME blæs'fim verb. Say something about God (or holy things) which isn’t true. Slander.

2. Speak irreverently about God or holy things. Sacrilege.

[Blasphemer blæs'fim.ər noun, blasphemous 'blæs.fə.məs adjective, blasphemy 'blæs.fə.mi noun.]

Popular culture tends to define blasphemy with the second definition: It’s a synonym for sacrilege, when one treats the sacred profanely. When we make fun, or make light, of holy things. When we tell jokes about God, or treat our bibles like any other book, and set ’em on the floor or take crayons to them to make colorful doodles in the margins. When people take God’s name in vain. When I treat him like my dad instead of OUR FATHER WHICH ART IN HEAVEN. (Heck, people think I’m blaspheming when I don’t capitalize all the Almighty’s pronouns.)

Really, people consider it blasphemy when they personally feel insulted—“on the Almighty’s behalf,” but really because they disapprove. If I don’t take off my hat in church, or wear jeans to a service, or take off my shoes, I’m blaspheming.

Yep, take off my shoes. I’ve done that multiple times. I could understand people’s objections if my feet were stinky, but they object because they’re offended by my naked feet. That is, till I quote ’em some bible:

Exodus 3.4-5 KJV

4And when the LORD saw that he turned aside to see, God called unto him out of the midst of the bush, and said, Moses, Moses. And he said, Here am I. 5And he said, Draw not nigh hither: put off thy shoes from off thy feet, for the place whereon thou standest is holy ground.

Yep. You’re the one insulted by bare feet; God’s insulted by you wearing your fancy leather loafers in his holy presence. Now take ’em off. And the socks.

Anyway, thanks to the sentiments of conservative popular culture, I apparently blaspheme a lot. More than one Christian gets their knickers in a knot over my behavior. Including titling this blog Christ Almighty! They’re insulted, and therefore they presume God’s insulted. But this is just projection. As I demonstrated, they seldom know what offends God and what doesn’t… and back when I was a little kid, I realized that’s kinda important. You don’t wanna offend your savior! Might be a good idea to read that bible. But I digress.

For these folks, by blasphemy they really mean lèse-majesté, a handy French term which means “less majestic”—it was when the people of France treated their king in a way he didn’t consider consistent with the dignity he merited. (Well, imagined he merited. I’m American and the only king I recognize is Jesus. The rest, whether they know it or not, usurp his title.) Lèse-majesté is the invention of petty, insecure despots, who want everyone to suck up to them under pain of death. Esther experienced it when she had to petition the Persian shah for her people… but if she showed up unannounced, the shah might interpret it as an insult and have her killed. Es 4.11 Good thing he thought she was hot.

The reason Christians so often use lèse-majesté as our definition of blasphemy, is because there’s a bit of despotism in us. God’s neither insulted nor offended when his kids boldly approach his throne of grace. He 4.16 He wants us to do so. Invites us to do so. God has a thick skin—and a sense of humor. In contrast, these Christians don’t, and take offense because deep down they wanna be treated with rarified respect—and if that’s how we gotta behave with God, it makes it all the easier for them to suggest maybe we oughta treat them, “the Lord’s anointed,” with similar worship.

Hence they attempt to enforce divisions and ranks and barriers in God’s kingdom—all the stuff Jesus abolished by making every single one of us into God’s children, priests, and kings.

Well, enough about what blasphemy’s not. Let’s get to what it actually is.

Evil speech is blasphemy.

The Greek word βλασφημία/vlasfimía means inappropriate speech. Plato of Athens contrasted it with εὐφημία/effimía, “appropriate speech.” This is the leg Christians attempt to stand on when they claim lèse-majesté is blasphemy: It’s not appropriate for slaves to treat their king like a buddy. Despite Jesus’s clearly expressed statements to the contrary:

John 15.15 KJV

Henceforth I call you not servants; for the servant knoweth not what his lord doeth: but I have called you friends; for all things that I have heard of my Father I have made known unto you.

Yeah, there are always appropriate and inappropriate things we can say. But Plato didn’t use the word to speak of propriety, culture, refinement, or majesty. He spoke of basic good and evil. Vlasfimía is evil. Effimía is good.

Democritus of Abdera used vlasfimía to describe lying, slanderous speech, evil gossip, intentional or unintentional lies, things generally meant to outrage people against the slandered person.

The Septuagint used vlasfimía and its related verb βλασφημέω/vlasfiméo to translate the Old Testament word נָקַב/naqáb, “puncture.” When someone punctures the LORD’s name, Lv 24.16 they injure it or hurt it: They make people think ill of the LORD.

Leviticus 24.10-16 KWL

10And the son of an Israelitish woman, whose father was an Egyptian, went out among the children of Israel: and this son of the Israelitish woman and a man of Israel strove together in the camp; 11and the Israelitish woman’s son blasphemed the name of the LORD, and cursed. And they brought him unto Moses: (and his mother’s name was Shelomith, the daughter of Dibri, of the tribe of Dan:) 12and they put him in ward, that the mind of the LORD might be shewed them. 13And the LORD spake unto Moses, saying, 14Bring forth him that hath cursed without the camp; and let all that heard him lay their hands upon his head, and let all the congregation stone him. 15And thou shalt speak unto the children of Israel, saying, Whosoever curseth his God shall bear his sin. 16And he that blasphemeth the name of the LORD, he shall surely be put to death, and all the congregation shall certainly stone him: as well the stranger, as he that is born in the land, when he blasphemeth the name of the LORD, shall be put to death.

The LORD goes on to talk about an eye for an eye, Lv 24.20 implying God considers it equitable that blasphemers died: Slandering God, cursing him, is just as bad as death. Because when people clearly demonstrate they want nothing to do with God… who’s gonna save them from death? You’ve basically doomed yourself to die in your sins. Lv 24.15

Likewise when we blaspheme God—when we slander him, tell lies about him, claim a God-thing is devilish, or a devilish thing is a God-thing, and depict him as anything other than who he is—we stand a really good chance of driving other people away from him. And again, who’s gonna save them from death?

If I convince people God’s evil, hates them, won’t save them, can’t save them, this is more than mere heresy. My false teachings, my blasphemy, has put their eternal lives at risk. It’s a lot like attempted homicide.

Not that God can’t forgive blasphemers, but it ain’t gonna happen at this rate. Not if we remain unrepentant.

Slander is intentional, y’know.

When I point out this link between blasphemy and untruth, certain Christians get anxious: “You mean every time I say something false about God, I’m committing blasphemy?” And certainly medieval Christians thought so. It’s why they killed heretics.

But the thing about slander is it’s intentional. People deliberately, malicously spread untruths about other people. They might not be aware they’re not true, but they are trying to destroy those people: They wanna ruin their reputation, their career, their lives. They’re trying to drive people away from them.

When people blaspheme God, it’s because they’re trying to get people to stop following him. (And usually start following them.) That Egyptian-Israeli blasphemer in Leviticus wasn’t simply bashing God: His motive was to get people to quit God. Even though he, same as everybody else in Israel, saw God save them from Egyptian slavery, saw God split the Red Sea so they could escape to Arabia, saw God give his 10 commandments from Sinai, saw all the other miracles God had done on Israel’s behalf. He knew better. And that’s what makes it blasphemy instead of simply a different religion.

Yeah, sometimes we’re gonna say the wrong thing about God. I’ve done it; didn’t mean to, but I didn’t know better. No doubt you have too. We’re all wrong. But the thing about God is he’s gracious. He’s willing to work with, and correct, those who humbly seek him and wanna be corrected of our errors. Our mistakes aren’t blasphemy. Because blasphemy is a deliberate, malicious attempt to hurt God.

And by this proper definition—it’s not sacrilege nor lèse-majesté—relax. You know you’re not blaspheming God. (Unless you are. Then repent!)