Still not ready for solid food.

1 Corinthians 3.1-9.

The Christians of ancient Corinth had divided themselves into factions which, it appears, weren’t getting along. There was the Apollos faction, emphasizing the teachings of the apostle who evangelized them; there was the Paul faction, emphasizing the teachings of the apostle who’d evangelized them. There was also a Simon Peter faction, and a Christ faction (or, likely, a “Christ only” faction; phooey on his apostles!). 1Co 1.12

This behavior, Paul and Sosthenes rebuked in 1 Corinthians. If these apostles are legitimately following Jesus—and from what we know, Apollos, Paul, and Peter certainly did—their teachings should harmonize. We might see minor discrepancies, ’cause the apostles weren’t infallible; only Jesus is. But these discrepancies should be irrelevant, ’cause all these guys are pointing beyond themselves, at Christ Jesus and his kingdom.

I’ve said more than once Paul isn’t infallible, and I’m fully aware there are gonna be Christians who balk at this idea. I mean yeah, they’re gonna acknowledge Paul’s various screw-ups which Luke recorded in the Acts of the Apostles; they’re right there in the bible; we can’t deny ’em. But they’re also gonna emphasize Paul wrote scripture, and his New Testament letters are fully trustworthy doctrine which Christians have followed for millennia. Arguably every Christian, with the exception of a few heretics, puts ourselves in the Paul faction. Apollos doesn’t have any letters in the New Testament… unless he’s the unknown author of Hebrews, and likely he’s not.

Still, Christians breaking ourselves into sects and flinging around the word “heresy” as if anything we don’t like qualifies as heresy: Yep, it started happening in the ancient church. Still happens. And shouldn’t. We need to overcome our differences and work together, and stop giving ammunition to antichrists who’d rather see all of us gone, and are as happy in a pig in poo whenever we fight one another.

In today’s passage, the apostles emphasize how Apollos and Paul are on the same team. Same Jesus. Same Holy Spirit empowering both of ’em.

1 Corinthians 3.1-9 KWL

1Fellow Christians, I can’t speak to you as Spiritual people,

but as fleshly people,

as “infants in Christ.”

2I give you milk, not solid food,

for you’re not ready.

You’re not able to feed yourselves even now,

3for you’re still fleshly people.

Why is there zeal and strife among you?

Aren’t you fleshly people?

Do you walk like pagan humans?

4For when someone might say, “I’m of Paul,”

and another, “I’m of Apollos,”

aren’t you pagan humans?

5So who is Apollos? Who is Paul? Servants!

You believe because of them,

however the Master gives faith to each person.

6I plant and Apollos waters,

but God is making you grow,

7so neither the planter nor waterer is someone vital,

but God is the grower.

8And the planter and waterer are one!

Each of us receives our own paycheck

for our own labor.

9For God is our coworker;

it’s God’s farm, God’s building.

Want divine insight? Listen to the Holy Spirit.

1 Corinthians 2.6-16.

Paul and Sosthenes start 1 Corinthians by talking about how they didn’t present the gospel of Christ Jesus with clever, wise reasoning, but with supernatural demonstrations of power.

But this is not to dismiss wisdom! It’s important. It’s just the kind of wisdom they’re talking about comes from the Holy Spirit, and in ancient Corinth, the only kind of wisdom the Corinthians knew about was Greek philosophy. Which, let’s be honest, is kinda clever in a lot of ways. But when the Greeks speculated about what God is like, they got him way wrong. The Greeks, particularly Plato of Athens, were into determinism big-time. There was a whole lot of speculation about the secret will of God or the gods. Stuff that’s actually leaked into Christianity, heavily influenced by former neo-Platonists like Augustine, and of course Augustine fans like Jean Calvin. Determinism has corrupted many a Christian’s concept of God, and kinda makes him out to be evil—if everything that happens was all pre-determined by God, there’s an awful lot of evil baked into the plan, isn’t there?

Proper wisdom, godly wisdom, comes from God himself. Namely the Holy Spirit, who is God, who’s come to live within every Christian and steer us right… provided we listen to him. You wanna know the deep things of God? Start listening to the Spirit!

1 Corinthians 2.6-16 KWL

6We speak of a comprehensive wisdom;

a wisdom not of this age,

nor of the rulers of this age; it’s meaningless.

7But we speak of God’s wisdom,

previously hidden in a mystery,

which God pre-decided before the ages

for our glory.

8Which none of the rulers of this age knew,

for if they knew,

they wouldn’t have crucified the glorious Master.

9But just as it was written,

“What eye doesn’t see and ear doesn’t hear,” Is 64.4

and doesn’t enter the human heart—

what God prepares for those who love him.

10God, through the Spirit, revealed them to us,

for the Spirit explores everything;

God’s depths as well.

11For who comprehends about humans,

and things about humans,

if not the spirit of a human that’s within them?

Thus also God-stuff—

nobody knows it but God’s Spirit.

12It’s not the world’s spirit we accept,

but the Spirit who’s from God,

so that we might have known

the things from God which he gives us.

13We also speak of God-stuff—

not in human teachings or wise lessons,

but in Spirit-teachings,

comparing Spirit-stuff to Spirit-stuff.

14A soulish person doesn’t accept the things of God’s Spirit,

for it’s “moronic” to them,

and they can’t understand it

because it’s discerned through the Spirit.

15A Spiritual person discerns everything

—and is discerned by no one.

16For “Who knows God’s mind? Who can advise him?” Is 40.13

We have Christ’s mind.

Blasphemy: Slandering God’s character.

BLASPHEME blæs'fim verb. Say something about God (or holy things) which isn’t true. Slander.

2. Speak irreverently about God or holy things. Sacrilege.

[Blasphemer blæs'fim.ər noun, blasphemous 'blæs.fə.məs adjective, blasphemy 'blæs.fə.mi noun.]

Popular culture tends to define blasphemy with the second definition: It’s a synonym for sacrilege, when one treats the sacred profanely. When we make fun, or make light, of holy things. When we tell jokes about God, or treat our bibles like any other book, and set ’em on the floor or take crayons to them to make colorful doodles in the margins. When people take God’s name in vain. When I treat him like my dad instead of OUR FATHER WHICH ART IN HEAVEN. (Heck, people think I’m blaspheming when I don’t capitalize all the Almighty’s pronouns.)

Really, people consider it blasphemy when they personally feel insulted—“on the Almighty’s behalf,” but really because they disapprove. If I don’t take off my hat in church, or wear jeans to a service, or take off my shoes, I’m blaspheming.

Yep, take off my shoes. I’ve done that multiple times. I could understand people’s objections if my feet were stinky, but they object because they’re offended by my naked feet. That is, till I quote ’em some bible:

Exodus 3.4-5 KJV

4And when the LORD saw that he turned aside to see, God called unto him out of the midst of the bush, and said, Moses, Moses. And he said, Here am I. 5And he said, Draw not nigh hither: put off thy shoes from off thy feet, for the place whereon thou standest is holy ground.

Yep. You’re the one insulted by bare feet; God’s insulted by you wearing your fancy leather loafers in his holy presence. Now take ’em off. And the socks.

Anyway, thanks to the sentiments of conservative popular culture, I apparently blaspheme a lot. More than one Christian gets their knickers in a knot over my behavior. Including titling this blog Christ Almighty! They’re insulted, and therefore they presume God’s insulted. But this is just projection. As I demonstrated, they seldom know what offends God and what doesn’t… and back when I was a little kid, I realized that’s kinda important. You don’t wanna offend your savior! Might be a good idea to read that bible. But I digress.

For these folks, by blasphemy they really mean lèse-majesté, a handy French term which means “less majestic”—it was when the people of France treated their king in a way he didn’t consider consistent with the dignity he merited. (Well, imagined he merited. I’m American and the only king I recognize is Jesus. The rest, whether they know it or not, usurp his title.) Lèse-majesté is the invention of petty, insecure despots, who want everyone to suck up to them under pain of death. Esther experienced it when she had to petition the Persian shah for her people… but if she showed up unannounced, the shah might interpret it as an insult and have her killed. Es 4.11 Good thing he thought she was hot.

The reason Christians so often use lèse-majesté as our definition of blasphemy, is because there’s a bit of despotism in us. God’s neither insulted nor offended when his kids boldly approach his throne of grace. He 4.16 He wants us to do so. Invites us to do so. God has a thick skin—and a sense of humor. In contrast, these Christians don’t, and take offense because deep down they wanna be treated with rarified respect—and if that’s how we gotta behave with God, it makes it all the easier for them to suggest maybe we oughta treat them, “the Lord’s anointed,” with similar worship.

Hence they attempt to enforce divisions and ranks and barriers in God’s kingdom—all the stuff Jesus abolished by making every single one of us into God’s children, priests, and kings.

Well, enough about what blasphemy’s not. Let’s get to what it actually is.

Miracles first; message later.

1 Corinthians 2.1-5.

I grew up in a cessationist church; they believed God doesn’t do miracles anymore, and all their ministries and preaching was adapted to that worldview. So when they talked about sharing Jesus with other people, they never, ever talked about doing supernatural stuff as a part of it. No prophecy, no praying for people to be cured of various ailments; nothing like Jesus and the apostles did in the bible. Just… apologetics.

They didn’t always call it apologetics, but basically that’s what they did, and likely still do: Explaining why Jesus is Lord, what he did to save us from sin and death, encouraging people to believe this wholeheartedly, and say the sinner’s prayer. And ever since that church, I’ve read a bunch of other curricula about how to do evangelism; I even worked for an evangelism ministry for a year. Largely that’s what Evangelical evangelists focus on: Tell people how they can be saved, then talk ’em into believing it and embracing Jesus.

In contrast, in the bible, Jesus or the apostles would go somewhere, either prophesy or cure someone, and crowds would appear wanting to know, “What just happened? What’s this about?”—and then the apostles or Jesus would talk about God’s kingdom, and people would follow Jesus. Maybe get baptized.

No apologetics necessary! You don’t have to convince people God is real when they just saw God act. Yeah, they might deny what they just saw, or what it means, and we might need to challenge them not to. But that takes more commonsense than apologetics.

Anyway, in today’s passage Paul and Sosthenes remind the Christians of Corinth that this is what Paul did. Since he was already talking about earthly wisdom versus God, he just wanted to remind ’em he didn’t evangelize them with wisdom. He did stuff, and let the power of the Holy Spirit do all the speaking.

1 Corinthians 2.1-5 KWL

1Remember my coming to you, fellow Christians:

I come, not with an authoritative lesson,

nor preaching wisdom to you—

God’s now-revealed mystery.

2For I didn’t figure I knew anything about you,

except Christ Jesus, and this man crucified,

3and I became weak, afraid,

and greatly shaking among you.

4My lesson and my preaching

wasn’t lessons of wise persuasion,

but a demonstration of the Spirit and power

5so your faith wouldn’t be in human wisdom

but in God’s power.

And yes, cessationists are all wet. We can still do this. Always could. I’ve done it. Works great.

“Moronic Christian beliefs” are God’s wisdom.

1 Corinthians 1.17-31.

Right after Paul and Sosthenes critique the church of Corinth for dividing themselves into factions, the apostles get sidetracked into a talk about how the gospel they preach… is kinda stupid.

And yeah, making that statement is immediately gonna offend certain Christian snowflakes, so lemme explain, same as the apostles explained. To the world it’s stupid. To the world, which respects power, wealth, clever politicking (or even petty and stupid politicking, ’cause pwning your opponents counts as a win to them), popularity, fame, and especially the confusion or destruction of your foes, Christ’s victory over sin and death makes no sense.

In the Roman Empire it especially made no sense. Jesus of Nazareth was a convicted felon, who got the death penalty, and died in a nasty, embarrassing way: Buck naked, wrists and ankles nailed to a cross, left to suffocate and bleed out and die. That’s as big a defeat as any of ’em could imagine. That was a sign from the gods you were cursed. And this was the guy Christians worshiped, and called Master and King. Made no sense.

In today’s passage, the apostles kinda shrugged and said, “Yeah okay. It’s moronic. To you. Because you’re too proud to realize just how brilliant it actually is.”

1 Corinthians 1.10-31 KWL

17For Christ doesn’t send me to baptize,

but to evangelize.

And not with a wise message,

lest Christ’s cross be made irrelevant,

18for the cross’s lesson is “moronic”

to those who are destroying themselves.

To you who are being saved,

it’s God’s power—

19for it was written:

“I’ll destroy the wisdom of the wise.

I’ll nullify the thinking of the thinkers.” Is 29.14

20Where’s a wise person? Where’s a scribe?

Where’s a person who regularly disputes with this age?

Doesn’t God make the world’s wisdom “moronic”?

21Because—in God’s wisdom—

the world doesn’t come to know God through wisdom,

God is pleased through “moronic” preaching

to save those who believe in him.

22Jews ask for miraculous signs

and Greeks seek wisdom.

23We preach a Christ who was crucified;

Jews are scandalized,

and to gentiles this is “moronic.”

24To those who are invited, Jews and Greeks alike,

Christ is God’s power and God’s wisdom,

25because God’s “moronic” plan is wiser than humans.

God’s “weakness” is stronger than humans.

26For look at your invitation, fellow Christians!

Not many wise—by carnal standards.

Not many powerful.

Not many noble.

27But God chooses the world’s “morons” for himself,

so he might embarrass the wise.

God chooses the world’s weak,

so he might embarrass the strong.

28God chooses the world’s inferiors and outcasts.

Things which aren’t,

so he might negate things which are,

29so no carnal person

can elevate themselves before God.

30From this, you’re all in Christ Jesus,

who becomes our wisdom from God.

And justice! And holiness. And deliverance.

31Just like it was written:

“Promoters? Promote God!” Jr 9.24

Christian factions. Which shouldn’t exist.

1 Corinthians 1.10-17.

In Paul and Sosthenes’s greeting to the church of Corinth, they (but mostly Paul) states God made ’em wealthy in teaching, knowledge, and supernatural gifts. 1Co 1.5, 7 They legitimately are Christ Jesus’s church.

And then he gets into what they’re doing wrong. And it’s a lot. Corinth is not a healthy church! They got problems.

Which… actually works out to the benefit of the rest of Christendom. All our churches are gonna have problems like Corinth did. Hopefully not all of them at once!—and ideally none. But if we continue to minister to sinners (as we should!), and continue to get newbies who don’t know any better, we’re inevitably gonna have some. And when they crop up, we have Paul’s advice and instructions in 1 Corinthians to help set us straight.

So let’s get to the first of the problems: Factions. And if you’re Protestant, you know all about factions. There are thousands of Christian denominations out there. All of whom can get along, and absolutely should, because we all share the same Lord Jesus. But there are always some Christians who insist we absolutely should not, because our differences disqualify us from fellowship—from interacting with each other, ministering together, and worshiping Jesus together.

Just this morning I read a bit of a book critiquing a popular megachurch pastor who regularly insists most churches—not just a few!—are heretic, and going to hell. Plenty more Christians are just like him, and insist only their faction follows Christ correctly—and if we’re saved by our orthodoxy, only they will be saved.

I don’t know whether Corinth’s factions went this far. Hope not! But the apostles were offended that there should be any factions within Christ’s body; anybody who insisted their sect of Christianity was correct and the others not, when really we’re all wrong, and only Christ himself is right.

1 Corinthians 1.10-17 KWL

10Fellow Christians, I encourage you

in the name of our master Christ Jesus

so you all might say the same thing,

schisms might not exist among you,

and you might be joined together

with the same mind and thought process.

11For, my fellow Christians,

people from Chloe made it plain to me about you:

Fighting is among you.

12I’ll put it this way:

Each of you says, “I’m of Paul,” or “I’m of Apollos,”

“I’m of Kefa,” or “I’m of Christ.”

13Christ was divided?

Paul wasn’t crucified for you!

Or are you baptized in the name of Paul?

14I say grace to God: I baptized none of you!

—except Crispus and Gaius

15—so that no one might say I baptize in my own name.

16I also baptized the household of Stephanus;

otherwise I don’t know if I baptized anyone else.

17AFor Christ doesn’t send me to baptize,

but to evangelize.

Kefa in verse 12 is Simon Peter’s nickname in Aramaic. Jn 1.42 Apollos is a Christian evangelist with whom Paul had worked a number of times. Paul you’ve heard of. Christ you’d better know.

Greetings to Corinth.

1 Corinthians 1.1-9.

I’ve already commented on bits and pieces of 1 Corinthians—mostly the parts having to do with supernatural gifts—but I should probably discuss the letter as a whole, should I? Yeah, why not.

Kórinthos (today’s “ancient Corinth,” Greece, 5km southwest of modern Corinth) was the capital of the Roman province of Achaea. Julius Caesar had completely destroyed the city on his way through in 44BC, and had rebuilt it as a Roman city, so it was way more Roman than Greek. Lots of pagan Greek temples… but lots of Latin inscriptions instead of Greek ones. Lots of visitors; more trade than the city could actually handle; plenty of cultural diversity. Including Jews, who moved in at the same time Caesar reestablished the city—so in that sense, they’d always been there.

The huge amount of trade which came through the town, had the effect of making money and wealth the thing which established status in that city. Not caste, like you found in the rest of the Roman Empire. In many ways it made Corinth a lot like the United States: Status came from what you had and what you could accomplish, not your family. Not that people didn’t still have their prejudices, which could still blindside and ruin you when you thought those things shouldn’t be relevant anymore. (Some things never do change.)

Paul of Tarsus had lived in Corinth from the years 50 to 51, working as a tentmaker and tanner, and trying to teach in synagogue until the Jews had enough of him. Ac 18.1-11 A few years later, probably 54 or 55, Paul and Sosthenes wrote this letter. It’s not the only letter to Corinth; scholars speculate there were three, and of course the New Testament includes two of ’em, presented in order of length: 1 Corinthians is longer, and likely written earlier, although there’s always the chance it might not be.

So Paul you’ve heard of. There’s a Sosthenes who was president of the Corinthian synagogue, who got beaten by a mob after the Corinthian Jews unsuccessfully tried to get Paul condemned by the Roman proconsul. Ac 18.12-17 He might be the same Sosthenes who wrote this letter, but there’s nothing in the scriptures about him later becoming Christian. His predecessor Crispus certainly did Ac 18.8 —and some people have speculated Crispus is Sosthenes’s family name; that it’s all the same guy. But that’s pure speculation. Sosthenes is a common ancient Greek name.

Of course Paul brings up Corinth’s wealth in the introduction to the letter:

1 Corinthians 1.1-9 KWL

1Paul, invited to be an apostle of Christ Jesus by God’s will,

and brother Sosthenes

2to God’s church existing in Corinth,

made holy in Christ Jesus,

invited to be saints,

with all those invited to go by the name of our master, Christ Jesus,

in every place, both theirs and ours:

3Grace to you, and peace

from God our Father and master Christ Jesus.

4I always say grace to my God about you all,

on top of God’s grace,

which he gives you in Christ Jesus.

5For in God you’re made wealthy in everything;

in every teaching and every knowledge,

6as the witness of Christ confirms in you all.

7Thus none of you are lacking in any supernatural gift

as you’re awaiting the revelation

of our master Christ Jesus;

8At the End, Jesus will also confirm you all as not guilty

on the Judgment Day of our master Christ Jesus.

9Trustworthy God!—through whom

you’re invited to a partnership with his son, our master Christ Jesus.

You notice Paul contrasts Corinth’s earthly wealth with God’s supernatural wealth—“in God you’re made wealthy in everything.” You got knowledge. Supernatural gifts. Grace. And when Jesus returns, you won’t be judged, because he doesn’t judge those who heed his message and trust the One who sent him. Jn 5.24

The fivefold ministry. Or is it fourfold? Sevenfold?

FIVEFOLD MINISTRY 'faɪv.foʊld 'mɪn.ɪs.tri noun. A form of church leadership in which an individual congregation is led by five leaders, with duties corresponding to the five gifts Christ granted to build up his body. Ep 4.11

Christians have come up with a number of different ways to run Christ Jesus’s chruches. Initially the church was led by the Twelve, although that proved impractical as it grew, and as the Twelve spread out to other provinces and countries, or died off. The model we see in Paul’s pastoral letters suggests they ultimately borrowed the setup of Pharisee synagogues: An ἐπίσκοπος/epískopos, “supervisor” (which evolved into the English word “bishop”) who oversees the various spiritually mature Christians put in charge of all the other duties and ministries. Among the Orthodox and Catholic churches this evolved into archbishops and priests, but you’ll likewise see it in some Protestant churches which have pastors and presbyters.

But other Protestant churches have experimented with all sorts of leadership models. I was once a member of a church with a pastoral team: Five pastors who shared the job, took turns preaching the sermons, and handling various duties. I’ve been part of a church which claimed to have no leadership, and that they were entirely led by the Holy Spirit. (In practice, certain folks just happened to “hear the Spirit” way more than others, and wound up leading by default.) I’ve also been in congregationalist churches, which are basically run by direct democracy: The church members meet every month, and vote on every item of business. In meetings which can go on for hours.

Are those leadership models in the bible? Nah. Is that a problem? Not really. Because regardless of which leadership setup you choose, the important factor which makes it work is the people and leaders follow Jesus. If they do, the leadership setup actually doesn’t matter, because Jesus is gonna rule. And if they don’t, it doesn’t matter how “biblical” your setup is: The church is always gonna go wrong. Guaranteed.

At some other point I’ll list all the different models. But today I’m obviously gonna rant write about the fivefold ministry model.

It’s a relatively new leadership structure. Invented in the 1970s, and adopted by a lot of churches in the charismatic “apostolic movement.” These church are meant to be run by either five elders, or five teams of elders. (Since each of these teams tends to have a supervisor in charge of it… functionally it’s still five elders.) And each of these elders holds a different office, or has different job duties, which correspond to one of Christ Jesus’s five ministry gifts, listed by Paul in Ephesians.

Ephesians 4.11-12 KJV

11And [Christ] gave some, apostles; and some, prophets; and some, evangelists; and some, pastors and teachers; 12for the perfecting of the saints, for the work of the ministry, for the edifying of the body of Christ: 13till we all come in the unity of the faith, and of the knowledge of the Son of God, unto a perfect man, unto the measure of the stature of the fulness of Christ:

In short, the five leaders of a fivefold church are designated as an apostle, a prophet, an evangelist, a pastor, and a teacher.

Now. Historically Christians haven’t taught these are five jobs, but five gifts. They’re different abilities to minister. Different aptitudes. I have a knack for teaching; another’s gonna have a knack for evangelism. Another for prophecy, another for pastoral care.

But, I should point out, while I have a knack for teaching, I sometimes do all the other things. Because I’ve been in Christian leadership long enough to know how to do all of ’em. I can evangelize. I can prophesy. I can pastor. I can even function as an apostle if the Holy Spirit gives me a certain task to accomplish.

’Cause in practice, the Holy Spirit grants all these gifts to various Christian leaders on an ad hoc basis. Not just one and only one gift to one person. Jesus is an obvious example of someone who simultaneously had all five gifts:

• APOSTLE: Jesus was sent by God. He 3.1
• PROPHET: Jesus shares God’s word. Mt 21.11
• EVANGELIST: Jesus shares the good news of his kingdom. Mk 1.14
• PASTOR: Jesus is our good shepherd, Jn 10.11 our leader.
• TEACHER: Jesus is a rabbi, Jn 13.13 and our only rabbi. Mt 23.10

“Well of course Jesus could do ’em all,” various Christians reply, ”because he’s Jesus!” Yep, that’s everybody’s favorite excuse for not doing as Jesus does: He’s exceptional. And to be fair, he is. But not in this are—’cause loads of his apostles also simultaneously had all five gifts. You see ’em in Peter, John, Philip, Paul, James; and you’ll notice most churches regularly expect their head pastor to have these abilities whenever necessary. Apostles in that God called ’em into ministry. Prophets in that they can recognize God’s voice and authoritatively talk about God’s will. Evangelists ’cause they lead people to Jesus. Pastors ’cause they shepherd the people of their churches. And teachers ’cause they gotta teach us everything Jesus taught.

Fivefold ministry advocates point out this is an awful lot of work to put upon just one person. They’re not wrong! It’s why the mature Christians of a church need to step up and help their pastor. But the fivefold folks claim the list in Ephesians is a jobs list: The Holy Spirit divvied up these jobs, just like he scattered his supernatural gifts among different Christians. 1Co 12.7 Therefore each church shouldn’t only have a pastor in charge, but have five leaders. A pastor of course. And also an apostle, prophet, evangelist, and teacher.

The self-anointed prophet.

This last weekend I heard someone talk about God’s “anointed prophets,” as if that’s actually a thing from the bible. In fact it’s not.

How God makes prophets is ridiculously simple: He starts talking to someone. Might be Samuel ben Elkanah.

1 Samuel 3.6-11 NLT

6Then the LORD called out again, “Samuel!”

Again Samuel got up and went to Eli. “Here I am. Did you call me?”

“I didn’t call you, my son,” Eli said. “Go back to bed.”

7Samuel did not yet know the LORD because he had never had a message from the LORD before. 8So the LORD called a third time, and once more Samuel got up and went to Eli. “Here I am. Did you call me?”

Then Eli realized it was the LORD who was calling the boy. 9 So he said to Samuel, “Go and lie down again, and if someone calls again, say, ‘Speak, LORD, your servant is listening.’” So Samuel went back to bed.

10And the LORD came and called as before, “Samuel! Samuel!”

And Samuel replied, “Speak, your servant is listening.”

11Then the LORD said to Samuel, “I am about to do a shocking thing in Israel.”

Might be Jeremiah ben Hilkiah.

Jeremiah 1.4-10 NLT

4The LORD gave me this message:

5“I knew you before I formed you in your mother’s womb.

Before you were born I set you apart

and appointed you as my prophet to the nations.”

6“O Sovereign LORD,” I said, “I can’t speak for you! I’m too young!”

7 The LORD replied, “Don’t say, ‘I’m too young,’ for you must go wherever I send you and say whatever I tell you. 8And don’t be afraid of the people, for I will be with you and will protect you. I, the LORD, have spoken!” 9Then the LORD reached out and touched my mouth and said,

“Look, I have put my words in your mouth!

10Today I appoint you to stand up

against nations and kingdoms.

Some you must uproot and tear down,

destroy and overthrow.

Others you must build up

and plant.”

Might be Ezekiel ben Buzi.

Ezekiel 1.28 - 2.5 NLT

28All around him was a glowing halo, like a rainbow shining in the clouds on a rainy day. This is what the glory of the LORD looked like to me. When I saw it, I fell face down on the ground, and I heard someone’s voice speaking to me.

1“Stand up, son of man,” said the voice. “I want to speak with you.” 2The Spirit came into me as he spoke, and he set me on my feet. I listened carefully to his words. 3“Son of man,” he said, “I am sending you to the nation of Israel, a rebellious nation that has rebelled against me. They and their ancestors have been rebelling against me to this very day. 4They are a stubborn and hard-hearted people. But I am sending you to say to them, ‘This is what the Sovereign LORD says!’ 5And whether they listen or refuse to listen—for remember, they are rebels—at least they will know they have had a prophet among them.”

But in none of these instances do we see God anoint his prophets. He commissions them to speak in his name, tells them what he wants people to hear, and off they go.

Now yeah, you’re gonna hear Christians, and prophets who want people to consider them authority figures, talk about how God’s prophets have “the anointing.” And they’re gonna try to define lots things as anointing. So let’s first get that definition right, shall we? Anointing is when you literally pour oil over someone’s head. Ancient Israelis did that to people to indicate God chose ’em to lead. Not prophesy; lead. Anyone can prophesy. Not everyone can lead.

You’re also gonna see Christians point to Elisha, ’cause the LORD instructed his prophet Elijah to anoint him—

1 Kings 19.16 NLT

“Then anoint Jehu grandson of Nimshi to be king of Israel, and anoint Elisha son of Shaphat from the town of Abel-meholah to replace you as my prophet.”

—and claim, “There! Right there! There’s an anointed prophet!” But Elisha’s the only anointed prophet in bible. (Unless you count King David ben Jesse, who was indeed a prophet Ac 2.30 —he did hear from God! But David was anointed to be king, not prophet.) And here’s the thing about Elisha: Elijah, his predecessor, wasn’t only a prophet, but was also the leader of the בְנֵֽי־הַנְּבִיאִ֥ים/vnéi haneviím, the “sons of the prophets,” 2Ki 2.15 a prophecy guild. He anointed Elisha to lead that guild. Not to become a prophet—for Elisha was already a prophet.

Go ahead. Poke around the bible for the prophets’ first God-experiences. Some will be dramatic, like Ezekiel’s vision. Some won’t be. Christians like to point to when Isaiah saw the LORD in temple, with the seraphs and burning coal and “Holy holy holy!” and all that, Is 6.1-13 and claim the burning coal is Isaiah’s “anointing.” But that vision is in the sixth chapter of the book of Isaiah. There are five chapters before it! Five chapters of prophecies before it. And in none of them does Isaiah get anointed to become a prophet. He just starts prophesying. Because God talked to him, and he shared what he heard.

I’m not knocking profound experiences. They’re awesome. But God doesn’t need to start with them, and usually doesn’t. More often it’s like when he first talked to Samuel. Nobody gets “anointed.” Commissioned, yes. That’s all.

Anointing, like I said, is for leadership. God still picks leaders, and has us recognize his choices; and when we do that, typically we lay hands on them and pray for them, and somebody puts oil on ’em. Sometimes it’s a dab on their forehead; sometimes we dump a whole bottle or horn of it all over ’em, like the ancient Israelis did with their kings. But again, that’s leaders. Not prophets.

And if a leader prophesies—and they can; God can talk to them same as he talks to everyone—okay then we’re actually talking about an anointed prophet. But their anointing for leadership, and their ability as prophet, are actually two different things. Two separate things. The anointing doesn’t make ’em a greater prophet, and the prophecy doesn’t make ’em a better leader. And same as every prophet, we gotta confirm these prophecies, and not foolishly assume their anointing has made ’em an infallible prophet.

So when someone starts calling themselves one of God’s anointed prophets, what we’ve got here is someone who’s either honestly unaware of how God selects prophets… or is trying to pull a fast one, and claim leadership, or demand our obedience, solely because they claim they heard God. But if they’re not already in leadership, that’s an illegitimate claim. That’s like Samuel telling Eli, “I heard God, so you should make me co-head priest.” Or Jeremiah telling King Josiah ben Amon, “I hear God, so you should make me co-king.” It’s rubbish, and if these prophets seriously expect us to believe this and catapult them into leadership, beware.

The International Critical Commentary.

My bible software of choice is Accordance. I have a lot of their modules, and of course they wouldn’t mind at all if I bought more. So most days a week, they send me an email informing me of their sales. They have individual books, and of course full sets of bible commentaries.

Yes, I’ve bought a few, and they’re pricey. And sometimes when I tell people I’ve bought ’em, they’re stunned. “You spent that on a bible commentary? You know you can get Matthew Henry’s commentary for $3.”

Pfff, $10? I could get it for free.

I mean, I already have it. Decades ago (yes, it’s been multiple decades now) I bought a CD full of public-domain bibles and Christian literature, and of course Henry’s commentary is in there too. Plus a few other multi-volume bible commentaries.

I don’t look at ’em much, because those commentaries—like Henry’s, and many of the other free commentaries on the internet—are devotional in nature. That is, the commentator read some bible, wrote down his thoughts about ’em, and that’s what you have. Some of them are clever and insightful. Some are most definitely not clever and insightful; they’re the sort of regurgitated pop-culture junk you can find in Facebook posts. They’re not worth any money you might spend on ’em, so hopefully you’ve spent none!

What I actually want in a bible commentary—which is why, over the years, I’ve paid a bunch of money for such commentaries—is ancient history. Study of the ancient languages. Archeological evidence, if you have any. Maybe a thoughtful discussion on the multiple ways Christians have viewed this particular scripture over the years, just so I can see where the points of debate are… and maybe hear a view I’ve not heard before in dozens of sermons.

Free commentaries like that are mighty hard to come by, but here’s one: The International Critical Commentary. “International” in that it was written by Americans, Brits, and Canadians, and “critical” in that the authors compare different ancient manuscripts of the bible in order to get the best reading of the text.

The ICC is still being published by T&T Clark, but the older editions of the commentary are out of copyright, so they’ve been scanned and posted on the internet by the good folks at Google Books and Internet Archive. I’ve listed below what I can find. Internet Archive has multiple scans of these books, so if you don’t like the one I’ve linked to, find another! Google Books, on the other hand, will remove books if a publisher pushes ’em hard enough—even if books are in the public domain. (Just goes to show you the difference between a non-profit which stands up for something, and a for-profit which sometimes really doesn’t.)

Anywho, in some of the books you’ll find a list of all the books of the bible, and wonder why on earth I don’t have that volume (it’s the one you wanted to look at most, right?) and it’s because the guys who were supposed to write that book, ultimately didn’t. Optimistic advertising, I guess.